"I want to officially make it known to MYSELF, YOU & GOD that I have forgiven you ."
This is part of the letter Pastor Linda Maponyane wrote to her kidnapper, rapist and robber Justice Morake who is serving 1535 years in prison for 144 counts, including 30 for rape, 41 for kidnapping and 24 for robbery with aggravating circumstances.
"I have forgiven you for every tear I cried, every ARV I swallowed, every STI meds I stomached, every nightmare I had early after the rape, every fear to sleep in darkness, every brokenness and bitterness I felt," reads the letter.
Last week Maponyane published her debut book Shadows of My Scarswhich details the horrible events on the night of September 23 2011 when Morake and his accomplice accosted Maponyane and her friend in Ebony Park, Midrand.
Morake raped her in her car in a veld, beat her and stole her belongings before letting her drive off to seek help. She bled for five hours and had to be surgically operated on to stop the excessive bleeding.
Maponyane, who had been celibate before the attack, was immediately put on a month's course of antiretroviral drugs and given morning-after pills.
However, it was later discovered that she had contracted a sexually transmitted infection from Morake after nurses allegedly neglected to give her the complete medication for people who had survived rape.
"The worse for me was constantly vomiting and at one stage I thought it would come out of my nose. I took two ARV tablets daily. I was constantly sick and very tired. I couldn't finish the entire course," Maponyane told Sowetan.
In her book, which will be officially launched in March, she dedicated three pages to her attacker.
She wrote that she had forgiven Morake for all the hate and anger she had suffered because of him.
"I have been liberated from all those emotions, it does not mean I have forgotten but it means I am free from my own prison that left me hating every man, not trusting any man and deserting my God.
"I choose not only to forgive you but to also walk away as a survivor and to embrace my womanhood and my worth after all the tears and hopelessness I felt for months.
"I pray with all my heart that you make a decision to change your life for the better and the only way to do that is to introduce you to a man named Jesus. There is a better life in him, not only for the so-called 'good' people, but even for people of your past."
Maponyane completed the book last year and since then has been trying to locate Morake to give him a copy of the book with the letter.
"Writing this book was like a release from the spirit of unforgiveness and anger. It was like I was talking to him directly. The second step is to meet him physically and, for me, that will be like giving away back the bitterness and the anger of him having taken away my womanhood and my power."
sifilel@sowetan.co.za
Raped pastor seeks her attacker
"I want to officially make it known to MYSELF, YOU & GOD that I have forgiven you ."
This is part of the letter Pastor Linda Maponyane wrote to her kidnapper, rapist and robber Justice Morake who is serving 1535 years in prison for 144 counts, including 30 for rape, 41 for kidnapping and 24 for robbery with aggravating circumstances.
"I have forgiven you for every tear I cried, every ARV I swallowed, every STI meds I stomached, every nightmare I had early after the rape, every fear to sleep in darkness, every brokenness and bitterness I felt," reads the letter.
Last week Maponyane published her debut book Shadows of My Scarswhich details the horrible events on the night of September 23 2011 when Morake and his accomplice accosted Maponyane and her friend in Ebony Park, Midrand.
Morake raped her in her car in a veld, beat her and stole her belongings before letting her drive off to seek help. She bled for five hours and had to be surgically operated on to stop the excessive bleeding.
Maponyane, who had been celibate before the attack, was immediately put on a month's course of antiretroviral drugs and given morning-after pills.
However, it was later discovered that she had contracted a sexually transmitted infection from Morake after nurses allegedly neglected to give her the complete medication for people who had survived rape.
"The worse for me was constantly vomiting and at one stage I thought it would come out of my nose. I took two ARV tablets daily. I was constantly sick and very tired. I couldn't finish the entire course," Maponyane told Sowetan.
In her book, which will be officially launched in March, she dedicated three pages to her attacker.
She wrote that she had forgiven Morake for all the hate and anger she had suffered because of him.
"I have been liberated from all those emotions, it does not mean I have forgotten but it means I am free from my own prison that left me hating every man, not trusting any man and deserting my God.
"I choose not only to forgive you but to also walk away as a survivor and to embrace my womanhood and my worth after all the tears and hopelessness I felt for months.
"I pray with all my heart that you make a decision to change your life for the better and the only way to do that is to introduce you to a man named Jesus. There is a better life in him, not only for the so-called 'good' people, but even for people of your past."
Maponyane completed the book last year and since then has been trying to locate Morake to give him a copy of the book with the letter.
"Writing this book was like a release from the spirit of unforgiveness and anger. It was like I was talking to him directly. The second step is to meet him physically and, for me, that will be like giving away back the bitterness and the anger of him having taken away my womanhood and my power."
sifilel@sowetan.co.za
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