WHEN Guluva came face to face with a front page banner headline in a Sunday newspaper published in Mzansi, screaming: "6000 civil servants go unpaid for several months", he threw his hands up in the air in exasperation and exclaimed: "So it's true that Limpopo, my beloved province, is going down the tubes fast!"

The article was published in the same week that Finance Minister Pravin Gordhan and his cabinet colleagues made startling revelations about the parlous state of finances in Limpopo and announced stringent measures to bring the beleaguered provincial administration back to the straight and narrow.

This is a province where the administration whipped out its begging bowl and asked the national government to bail it out when it could not pay civil servants at the end of last year.

This is a province that pays salaries to thousands of ghost teachers. This is a province where some suppliers are paid up to eight times a month without producing an invoice.

It was only after Guluva started reading the article that he realised it was, in fact, referring to the sham just across the river, or Zimbabwe to be exact.

That is why many people argue that, because of the striking similarities between the two these days, the border that separates them has become so blurred that one does not know where Zimbabwe ends and where Limpopo - and by extension Mzansi - begins.

. Harare Glamour Boys

Still on matters pertaining to our northern neighbour, Guluva could not help but feel distraught as he watched Kaizer Chiefs' bitter rivals - Mamelodi Sundowns and Orlando Pirates - beefing up their squads with quality players, while the once successful and powerful club in Mzansi preferred to acquire their playing personnel from their usual hunting ground: Zimbabwe.

Someone whispered in Guluva's ear the other day that the once revered and feared Amakhosi had recently signed on their sixth player from Zim, where they are apparently the only team in the world that can buy two players for the price of one, or buy one player and get one free, whichever is favourable.

With the gold-and-black, zebra-striped jersey team being increasingly dominated by Zimbabwean players these days, Guluva believes it would not be out of place if the club were to change its name to Zimbabwean Golden Zebras.

As you can see, calling this team the Phefeni Glamour Boys is not only misleading, but it is also inappropriate. How about calling them the Harare Glamour Boys?

. A man and his fax machine

Guluva had forgotten that there was once a political party called Congress of the People (Cope) in Mzansi's political space until he was reminded about its brief and sorry existence last week when the sheriff of the court went to attach property at its Johannesburg inner city office for the non-payment of a lousy R82500 debt.

The sheriff was disappointed to find on arrival that there was nothing to attach except for a fax machine and a few inconsequential items in the office.

The sheriff was surprised there was nothing worthy of attaching there.

What he found confirmed what many of us already knew: that Cope was just a man and his fax machine.