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 Your boyfriend deserted you when you most needed him, and who is to say that when you face another crisis he won't disappear again? 

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Though a baby would have disrupted my life and I didn't know how I would manage, I don't believe in abortion.

I did not tell anyone I was pregnant. When I was eight weeks pregnant I started bleeding and went to a hospital. I was told that I had miscarried.

I felt so alone because there was no one I could go to for help. Though I did not really want the baby, I cried for the child I had lost. I am so depressed and I have problems sleeping and am not coping with my studies.

My boyfriend is at the same university as I am, so we often bump into each other. We normally only greet each other, but the other day he asked me why I was not showing my pregnancy? I said I had miscarried and walked away.

He has been trying to speak to me and has left a message on my phone saying that he still loves me.

I feel so vulnerable and alone that I am considering taking him back. What do you think? Depressed, Johannesburg

DUDU RESPONDS:

You have been through a very traumatic time on your own and I am sorry that you have suffered so much as a result of it.

Unfortunately there is nothing to cure the heartache you have experienced. It will take time to heal.

I think you should return to your doctor for a check-up and explain the problems you are experiencing.

Ask to be referred to a counsellor so that you can speak about the loss of your baby.

Often, people are not that sympathetic when a woman miscarries without realising that she needs to grieve the loss of her child.

You are right about being very vulnerable and this is not a good time for you to make a decision about whether to get back with your boyfriend.

To tell you the truth, he treated you in an appalling manner. He deserted you when you most needed him and who is to say that when you face another crisis he won't disappear again?

Is that really the sort of relationship you want to be in?

Love isn't just about the good times, it is being there to support each other through the bad times as well.

Concentrate on your wellbeing, health and studies and in time, you will meet someone who will love and treat you the way you should be.

Comments

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Wed May 22 18:04:33 SAST 2013 ::

Oct 14, 2011

Wanani

You were irresponsible, still at University and indulging, camon!!!
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Oct 14, 2011

Pabi

ses Dudu u have said it all, she must just move on with her life and concentrate on her studies on the mean time she will be healing.
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Oct 14, 2011

Ann

ok he wants u cos u not preggies any more??he doesnt love u he just wants to bonk u thats all, find someone to talk u cant carry all that weight alone. forget about him he is as irresponsible as u are
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Oct 14, 2011

Bumboklaat

First let me commend you for not believing in abortion! Ke ya difebe.
Second, forget your ex boyfriend because he doesn't love and he never did.
What you need to do now is speak to someone close to you about your experience and ask for help.
Although it was very irresponsible for you to fall pregnant while at varsity.

I commend you for having the guts to stand up to your "boyfriend"


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Oct 14, 2011

Mosquer

Don't take him back. He is irresponsible and selfish.
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Oct 14, 2011

ntshware-ke-yawa

shame,you sound like those woman who normally give it all.But nxt time you must be careful le wena,the fact that you spent two yrs together doesn't quarantee that he wanted to have a child with you.
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Oct 14, 2011

Vhamsanda

23 years old and @ university. Forced to abort and want to blame someone else for the stupidity ?
Whose body and child is this ?
You are stupid and I suggest that you leave the university now.
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Oct 14, 2011

JUBJUB

He doesnt love you my dear,dont ever allow him in your life because anything can happen.STAY AWAY.
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Oct 14, 2011

DjEp

Lady Depresed, are you studying Drama? this is in line what Generations is doing.this is life and what you see on Generations does not apply in real life! stop watching it. this man doesnt lv u period and if u ever take him back u will be full in no time and he will run away again. finish ur studies and move on. dont be a shadow of this man..
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Oct 14, 2011

candilious

@Ann- Morning Dear- i agree with you miscarrying the child is a second chance at life for her,clearly the man was just there for the sex and not for the long run. As their say everthing happens for a reason
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