I HAVE been with my boyfriend for four years. Last year he went to prison for eight months for thefts. He always insisted on his innocence. Before he went to prison he was a wonderful person.

Since his release he seems to be so angry all the time. He has started to drink heavily and whenever he drinks he beats me terribly. I don't understand this because I am not the person who sent him to jail.

I have always loved and cared for him. He accuses me of cheating on him and I have never done that. I can understand that he is frustrated because he cannot find employment, but I am starting to be very scared of him.

I don't want to live in fear, so please help me. Terrified, Eldorado Park

Dudu says:

While I sympathise with your boyfriend, there is no excuse for his behaviour. When he is sober you should speak to him and tell him that if he wants to save the relationship he has to seek help.

If he is not prepared to then it is up to you whether to stay in an abusive relationship. If you are too scared to leave your boyfriend then I suggest you contact Powa (People Opposed to Women Abuse) on 011- 642-4345. They will advise you on the safest way to leave your boyfriend.

If he is prepared to go for help he should consider calling Alcoholics Anonymous on 086-143-5722. Once he has stopped drinking he should then contact Nicro (National Institute for Crime Prevention and Reintegration of Offenders on 021-462-0017 for advice on finding employment.

I am sure your boyfriend is very angry and bitter about the way he has been treated and how this has turned his life upside down. There is hope and he just needs to reach out. He is very fortunate to have you by his side for support.