I fell pregnant four months ago and when I told him, he insisted that I have an abortion. I refused because it is against my religion and also because I am too scared. I have not seen him since the day I told him about the pregnancy. How could he just leave me?

I don't even know where to start looking for him because he never took me to his home.

Perhaps I should have had the abortion, then I wouldn't be in this mess. I feel so angry with myself for being such a fool. I don't know what to do. Please Dudu, advise me. - Unhappy, Katlehong

DEAR DUDU REPLIES:

I am sorry that this man has treated you so badly. He is a coward and you have every right to feel angry and disappointed.

You cannot force him to be involved with his child but he certainly does have to give you maintenance.

Your priority now is to look after yourself and the baby. You must inform your family and ask for their support.

You never mentioned whether you are still at school but if you are, you must ensure that this does not disrupt your education.

I am sure you are feeling very afraid of the future, but you will get through this.

Comments

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Mon May 21 17:32:58 SAST 2012 ::

Jan 7, 2011

Ona

I dont understand diz girl, how can u date a guy without even knowing were he staying. I so dont want to beiev dis one uhuh. serves you rite no offence
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Feb 1, 2011

know-it-all

Although you were in a hurry to do grown - up stuff, you are not. This is too much of a mess for you to be in and to bear alone. You need help. The fact that you are afraid to have an abortion proves that you are still a baby and you have a conscious.
Talk to an older sister, aunt, mother, grandmother or anyone you trust and you close with. Do not be afraid of being reprimanded or judged, wise decisions have to be made and those will shape your very near future.
Taking advise from friends and just anyone can be very dangerous...in some instances there might be an easy way out but could also be fatal, so be strong and courageous to make right choices.
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