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Pregnant and left in the lurch

By Dear Dudu | Dec 13, 2006 | COMMENTS [ 2 ]

I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 11 months. I am 18 and he is 24.

I fell pregnant four months ago and when I told him, he insisted that I have an abortion. I refused because it is against my religion and also because I am too scared. I have not seen him since the day I told him about the pregnancy. How could he just leave me?

I don't even know where to start looking for him because he never took me to his home.

Perhaps I should have had the abortion, then I wouldn't be in this mess. I feel so angry with myself for being such a fool. I don't know what to do. Please Dudu, advise me. - Unhappy, Katlehong



I am sorry that this man has treated you so badly. He is a coward and you have every right to feel angry and disappointed.

You cannot force him to be involved with his child but he certainly does have to give you maintenance.

Your priority now is to look after yourself and the baby. You must inform your family and ask for their support.

You never mentioned whether you are still at school but if you are, you must ensure that this does not disrupt your education.

I am sure you are feeling very afraid of the future, but you will get through this.


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I dont understand diz girl, how can u date a guy without even knowing were he staying. I so dont want to beiev dis one uhuh. serves you rite no offence

Jan 07, 2011 10:59 | 0 replies

Although you were in a hurry to do grown - up stuff, you are not. This is too much of a mess for you to be in and to bear alone. You need help. The fact that you are afraid to have an abortion proves that you are still a baby and you have a conscious.
Talk to an older sister, aunt, mother, grandmother or anyone you trust and you close with. Do not be afraid of being reprimanded or judged, wise decisions have to be made and those will shape your very near future.
Taking advise from friends and just anyone can be very some instances there might be an easy way out but could also be fatal, so be strong and courageous to make right choices.

Feb 01, 2011 9:46 | 0 replies