Ask anyone about how to seduce a man, and they would probably think - wear sexy lingerie, show lots of cleavage, or dance like a video vixen.

And most men would probably think that to seduce a woman you would need to - flex your muscles, lick your lips like LL Cool J, or rub baby oil all over yourself. WRONG!

Those are the stereotypical seduction tricks that people think it takes to lure a man or a woman and, while those may work on some, not everyone responds well to in-your-face tactics. Sometimes a little goes a very long way.

So what are some of the subtle ways to seduce the opposite sex?

Seduction expert Matshidiso Lubeko teaches the art of seduction to married couples and singletons at the Marriage Bootcamp centre in Krugersdorp on the West Rand, and she says that when it comes to the seduction techniques, most people get it so wrong.

"Mostly, people think that it is about 'look at me, I'm sexy', and that is not what seduction is all about. The rule of thumb is that when you try to be sexy, you most certainly end up not being sexy. It is almost about mastering the art form of non-verbal communication.

"You almost have to communicate what is on your mind, be it 'I find you so attractive' or even 'I want you right now', without having to verbally say it or relying on certain nuances that are expected. So it's a dance of the minds," she says.

Tips on how to seduce a woman:

- Many women find nothing more seductive than being fed. So, whether you are in a restau-rant of even in the comfort of your own home, take the initiative and feed your woman. Us eyour fingers, let it linger in hermouth. This very subtle act has hidden sexual undertones, but is not too obvious.

- Do the opposite of what they expect. For example, when leaning in like you are going for a kiss, come very close and change direction at the last minute. Pretend like you were brushing something off her hair. Because she would have been holding her breath in anticipation, the anti-climax of that act will leave her begging or more.

- Be mysterious. Hold your stares, then smile and look away when she asks you what’s up. Smile and just brush it off. Women love a mystery.

Tips on how to seduce a man:

- Embrace your masculine side. This does not mean being butch and neglecting to shave your legs, but instead doing the type of jobs that would typically be designated to a man. For example, when he is busy fixing his car, take a spanner and try your hand at unknotting a few bolts. Wash the car, paint the living room. Men are intrigued by a woman who does not mind getting down and dirty.

- Give a subtle hint of sexy in your choice of dress. Most women think that men want it all to hang out in order to find what they are wearing sexy, but men are very curious creatures, and giving a subtle demure hint makes their minds wonder what else lies beneath. You could do this by showing a bit of shoulder in an off-the-shoulder dress, or a knee-high back slit in a pencil skirt.

- Challenge him. Men are very competitive in nature, and love a woman bold enough to take them on.