I am 24 years old and in my last year of study. I live with my parents. My mother and I have always had a difficult relationship. She criticises everything I do. She will even put me down about my appearance, which is extremely hurtful. My mother dislikes my friends and she hates my boyfriend.

He is a wonderful, well-mannered man who has never done anything disrespectful to my parents. My father never gets involved.

I know she is my mother and I should love her but I don't even like her. She is such a bitter and twisted person.

Do you think there is any way that I can change the way we relate to each other and possibly start, at the very least, caring?

Hurt, Mthatha

It is really important that you try to protect yourself from these comments affecting the person who you become. I know it is easy to say that but difficult to put it into practice.

However, if you believe what she says now, then you will believe it for the rest of your life. It is a fact of life that not all mothers are loving and supportive and your mother might have had the same treatment as a child from her mother.

You are in your last year of study so once you are on your feet you will be able to move out. Having space between you might hopefully improve your relationship.