A recent study from the University of Iowa showed that men in the case group they studied prefer an intelligent woman with good housekeeping and cleaning skills, good looking and ambitious, in that order.  

The study basically describes the perfect woman, a powerful, successful, financially stable goddess who went to board meetings during the day and came home to be a chef and do the laundry for her husband.

At least the men amongst the study participants were not expecting her to be a virgin as well and thank goodness they didn’t state ‘’able to have children” as one of their requirements.

The study failed however to find out from the men what they think women should look for in a husband and if they would fit the criteria.

That’s the funny thing about marriage, men seem to hold all the cards and blindly accept that a woman will marry them because of course which woman doesn’t want to get married?

But gone are the days where all a woman wants is a ring and to be Mrs Somebody. Marriage is not a reward for women, some are even opting not to get married. There are no recent studies on what women look for in a husband.

Here is a checklist of things women or men should look out for when getting married, from this woman’s perspective.

Equality:

Equality does not mean identical it means of same value. Often when a woman talks equality men assume she’s saying she wants to be treated like a man.

Does your partner share in household chores?

Does he discuss having children with you or does he assume you will go with how he feels?

If you ever do get pregnant will he be supportive (take classes, help with your diet etc.) or is pregnancy a women’s thing? 

Confidence: 

Is he confident?

A man who has confidence issues will always look to his partner to validate him and often this comes at the expense of  his partners ambitions/goals. Should he feel that his partner is achieving more, he will not view this as love and may see it as being disloyal.

“She’s always trying to outdo me, why is she trying to be a man”

A confident secure man will have no problem accepting that his wife earns more than him. 

Respect:

Often men confuse respect with obedience.  A woman who is not easily swayed by a man, or questions him is labelled as disrespectful.

Men believe it is within their rights to be respected by women regardless of their own conduct, simply on the basis of being men.

It is very important for a woman to find a respectful man as this allows a women to be respectful in return. 

Transparency:

It is highly important that before and during your marriage, as partners, you are transparent with each other in all things.

When it comes to emotions be open, because it makes for a better healthier relationship and communication is easy. 

Know where your partner is emotionally, don’t expect them to guess, it will save a lot of hardships and arguments.

Be transparent financially, from the grocery budget to the mortgage. If you can’t discuss financial issues with your spouse, who are you discussing them with? 

A marriage is a partnership that happens when two people love each other and decide to commit to each other. But it is still a partnership, and things can go bad very quickly when one partner is expected to live up to the impossible expectations of the other. 

It is best to have a partnership were both people understand where they each stand.