AFTER a recent conversation with a colleague, it came to light that there is a new form of sugar daddy plaguing young girls. It is not clear whether this is happening in other communities but it is happening on the Cape Flats.

In the coloured community, there have been those who have made it over the economic divide. They have gone on to become wealthy. Some of their sons, our peers, are the problem.

By way of illustration, Alison (not her real name) from the Cape Flats was in tears when she contacted my colleague. She is 19 years old. Her home is a broken one, which has led to her living with and depending on her grandparents.

Alison is dating a man in his late 20s, the son of a wealthy coloured family. He drives a luxury vehicle, takes Alison out of the Cape Flats and gives her attention that she otherwise would not get. At first glance, he appears to be the answer to Alison's prayers - the proverbial knight in shining armour.

But it does not take long before things change. Alison is picked up from her Cape Flats home one day but this time not for a day out. The guy takes her to his apartment where he instructs her to cook and clean. She is forced to endure his abuse.

She is left alone there as he leaves to spend time with other people of his social status. He compels her to take contraceptives so he can have sex with her without using a condom and to minimise the chances of her falling pregnant.

Her wardrobe is now his business. He decides what she can and cannot wear. She is only allowed to "dress up" when she is with him. He says she'd better not attract attention from other guys.

If this isn't bad enough, when Alison gets a job, he sabotages it. He asks her to come and spend a week with him instead.

And if she loves him and wants to keep him, she should comply, right? She ought to set aside her personal development in pursuit of some ideal featuring this so-called "knight in shining armour" who will "rescue" her from her situation at home.

But one day, Alison couldn't take it anymore and made a desperate call. She called his ex, a woman who he was seeing during a period when he had dumped her. Unlike Alison this woman is independent and working, with her own assets.

This woman, my colleague, met her. She told her she is the solution to her problem.

Unfortunately, Alison is not an isolated case. Many luxury cars arrive to pick up these girls on Fridays and dump them at their homes when the good time is over.

What these girls are missing is someone to help them realise that they need to take their lives into their own hands, that they are the solution to their own and their families' situations. They need to seek opportunities to empower themselves - particularly economically.

They need to stop looking for the easy route. They will have to work hard.

They will have to feverishly pursue every goal they set. They must make a habit of this until it translates into self-confidence and self-reliance, and doing this will make them less vulnerable to these wealthy men whose only intention is to break them down.

But these girls can't do it alone. Older women need to play a mentoring role. We should not stand by and watch these girls being exploited by older men from whom they think they'll receive guidance.

Today, my colleague has taken a mentorship role in Alison's life.

Those of us who can, should take time to listen to and advise those younger than us. It is important that we impart knowledge to the young ones to help them save themselves from being taken advantage of.

lScheepers is founder of I AM Leadership community project