WHEN Nonhlanhla Mondlane, 33, shared her story with other widows, it brought tears into their eyes as many shared her pain.
Mondlane was only 24 when her husband Milton Matshika, 27, was shot during a car hijacking.
Matshika had been working overseas and had returned in January 2005 to prepare for their wedding.
"In March I fell pregnant. On July 21 he was shot during a hijacking. From the day my husband was shot to the day he died on October 21, his family accused me of killing him.
"They said I had hired people to kill him. They kicked me out of the house and took everything from me. I never went to his burial. I do not know where he was buried. It is really hard," said Mondlane at the Widows Forum held at Kabokweni Community Hall in Mpumalanga yesterday. "I plead with communities to stop treating widows like killers. It starts with us because we are the ones doing it," she said.
Other women were overcome by emotion and could not speak.
Mary Ngwenya said her husband was knocked down by a car.
"I never got bad treatment from his family. They were supportive. People are not the same. I never thought I and my two children, who were aged three and seven, would pull through. Today, my daughter works at Rob Ferreia Hospital and my son is a police officer in White River. God saw us through," Ngwenya said.
Hosted by provincial legislature speaker Thandi Shongwe, who lost her husband in January, the forum seeks to identify problems widows face on a daily basis in their communities and to give them a platform to talk about their challenges.
"After losing my husband, I sat and thought of other widows. I had an idea to hold these meetings. Widows have problems but they do not know where or who to turn to.
"There are widows who inherited money and other things. But there are those who have nothing. In other cases, government had to move in to help with the burial. It is sad," said Shongwe, who had been with her husband for 38 years.
She warned widows against Ben 10s who were using them for their inheritance.
"Widows give their husbands' cars to Ben 10s, who then fetch their young girlfriends ... they just want to finish the money your husband left for you."
Moltah Mavuso from the Commission for Gender Equality said they had dealt with many cases brought forward by widows. She said in many cases families went ahead to obtain letters of authority or executor before the widow could even do so.
mashabas@sowetan.co.za
For more stories like this one, be sure to buy the Sowetan newspaper from Mondays to Fridays
Speaker warns widows against Ben 10s
WHEN Nonhlanhla Mondlane, 33, shared her story with other widows, it brought tears into their eyes as many shared her pain.
Mondlane was only 24 when her husband Milton Matshika, 27, was shot during a car hijacking.
Matshika had been working overseas and had returned in January 2005 to prepare for their wedding.
"In March I fell pregnant. On July 21 he was shot during a hijacking. From the day my husband was shot to the day he died on October 21, his family accused me of killing him.
"They said I had hired people to kill him. They kicked me out of the house and took everything from me. I never went to his burial. I do not know where he was buried. It is really hard," said Mondlane at the Widows Forum held at Kabokweni Community Hall in Mpumalanga yesterday. "I plead with communities to stop treating widows like killers. It starts with us because we are the ones doing it," she said.
Other women were overcome by emotion and could not speak.
Mary Ngwenya said her husband was knocked down by a car.
"I never got bad treatment from his family. They were supportive. People are not the same. I never thought I and my two children, who were aged three and seven, would pull through. Today, my daughter works at Rob Ferreia Hospital and my son is a police officer in White River. God saw us through," Ngwenya said.
Hosted by provincial legislature speaker Thandi Shongwe, who lost her husband in January, the forum seeks to identify problems widows face on a daily basis in their communities and to give them a platform to talk about their challenges.
"After losing my husband, I sat and thought of other widows. I had an idea to hold these meetings. Widows have problems but they do not know where or who to turn to.
"There are widows who inherited money and other things. But there are those who have nothing. In other cases, government had to move in to help with the burial. It is sad," said Shongwe, who had been with her husband for 38 years.
She warned widows against Ben 10s who were using them for their inheritance.
"Widows give their husbands' cars to Ben 10s, who then fetch their young girlfriends ... they just want to finish the money your husband left for you."
Moltah Mavuso from the Commission for Gender Equality said they had dealt with many cases brought forward by widows. She said in many cases families went ahead to obtain letters of authority or executor before the widow could even do so.
mashabas@sowetan.co.za
For more stories like this one, be sure to buy the Sowetan newspaper from Mondays to Fridays
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