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9 reasons why men really cheat

By BONGIWE SITHOLE | 2013-07-17 14:35:40.0

Cheating men have been the cornerstones of conversations for generations upon generations. Many women are victim to these tendencies by men, which begs the question over and over again, why do men really cheat?

Sowetan LIVE approached a few men to get into their heads, trying to extract the very information that could save women the heartache and paranoia over trying to figure out what went wrong.

Don't get us wrong, we are not saying that ALL men cheat. The focus here is on the men who DO eat the forbidden fruits.

When we asked why, the men were ready with various justifications that is meant to keep us informed and educated on the matter.

Of course, most of the reasons are based on the simple little thing that needs to be stroked every now and then, the ego.

Here are the reasons:

  • *Mfundo, 26, says he cheated because he wasn't getting any from the long-term girlfriend he was engaged to.

“I cheated on my fiancée with another woman because we were not intimate with one another. She wanted to wait for marriage. It's not that I did not love her, I just wanted to fulfill other needs that she wasn’t ready to meet,” Jele says.

  • *Kgotso cheated because he wanted to break off a long-term relationship with his girlfriend so he could get caught.

“It’s hard to break off a long term relationship when there is no more spark. Instead of being honest with my ex about the fact that I wasn’t happy, I cheated on her deliberately. I regret it till today.”

  • Car wash owner *Tshepo cheats on his woman because he loves to have sex with different women.

“I'm happy with my woman...but I love sex and I want to have with different gorgeous women. To me that’s not cheating because I don’t fall in love with these women. I tell them that I'm involved, what I want is pleasure from them.

"There's no right or wrong answer about why men cheat. They cheat because sex flows in their mind night and day,” Mbhatha adds.

  • Graphic designer, *Fezidindo, 24, says men can never be satisfied. 

“Men cheat to feel empowered, to gain an advantage over whatever insecurities they may have, sometimes we do it to feed the greed of lust and because at times we can. They are sometimes not satisfied with whatever they should be getting, be it sex, love, emotional attachment,” says Mpembe.

  • Thandiso says he cheated because he was tempted by the opposite sex.

"Yoh, I was the most loyal person to my woman. I loved my wife with all my heart. I did everything for her. I kiss her every day, three times a day. We are great together. There was no problem. Until one day this woman who worked with me started throwing herself at me with no shame whatsoever. She was hot. It took me a long time to ignore her until one day we were both drunk at a party and she was all over me. I forgot that the word NO ever existed. It was on!. Since then I never looked back. I have tasted the sweeter apple..."

  • However unlike others that base cheating on lust, *Samkelo blames society for men’s lack of faithfulness to women.

“Society allows us to cheat. We are raised to never trust a woman but to be superior to them. We are to think as men. We have a right to cheat and women need to understand. They often do because when we are caught we are forgiven, he says. Langa also adds that men do not need a reason to cheat.

“Instinctively a man will cheat, we can have 'wonderwoman'  for a wife or girlfriend but don't mean a thing. It’s a selfish habit.”

  • *Lebogang says that he believed he was always infecting his girlfriend with bladder infections after they had sex everytime, so he couldn't bear to watch her suffer.

"The morning after we would have sex, she would get a bladder infection, and it hurt me to see her go through so much pain. I knew i was the cause of it, as the pattern was quite obvious. Maybe she was allergic to my sperms or something. Even the condoms didn't help. So I found another woman who was not so sensitive."

  • Brandon Mcleod, Marketing Manager at Brand On, blames social media for playing a role in distracting men.

“There are too many social media distractions  that open up space for secrecy in a relationship. Men flirt with the people they chat to and go as far as exchanging numbers because they know that their women don’t have access to their private space.”

  • Rawknait artist manager Songi Stylez says he believes men cheat because they are used to it.

"Men are also not good with commitment. The girl we cheat with obviously offers us something that the girlfriend failed to offer. It's simple. We have no self control because we lust.

So ladies, there you have it. if you have ever had a man cheating on you, don't beat yourself up by thinking that you are not sexy, not beautiful or not smart. It's of course we know women are just as guilty, so we would love to hear from the women about why they cheat on their men, so we can inform the guys out there.

Let's hear it....

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of our sources.

*Please note: Random fictitious names were created to protect the identity of our sources as is usual practice. In this case a name of a real person was used, despite our original disclaimer, and was mistakenly identified by readers.

We reiterate that none of the names used here are related to real persons and are used for purposes of telling the story.

You can Follow Bongi on twiiter: @bongirand2

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