WHEN she was single she had a killer body that looked like Chomee's - but the moment you married her she ballooned like a whale, and is now waddling around the house..

You could be responsible for her weight gain, according to recent research by dieticians from Newcastle University, in the UK, into how eating habits change after one moves in with a partner.

The university reviewed seven studies looking at the diets of men and women after they began living with a partner. It discovered that women were more likely to fall into bad eating habits and gain weight when they start living with a man - though they encouraged their lover to eat more healthily.

Xoliswa Mabona, a nutritionist, says when we enjoy treats, having someone to do it with, tends to make us feel less guilty.

"Settling into a relationship can undoubtedly cause issues with food. And what makes it worse is that couples tend to become eating partners - which can mean overindulging together as recreation.

Married women tend to adopt the eating habits of their husbands. That means more high-fat, high-sugar foods.

Wives also tend to match their husbands portions.

This can be too much for women as men need anything from 500 to 1500 more calories a day than women do. She says on average, women need around 25% fewer calories than men each day to keep their weight stable.

She adds that partners who make women fat are usually themselves quite lean.

"They are usually superfit and follow a strict fitness regimen. Because they need lots of energy they are constantly refuelling. That is why you find a very fit man with a big woman that looks like his mom."

But Asiphe Ndlela, a psychologist based in Illovo, says women are the biggest source of the problem.

She says when a couple moves in together, women tend to give up self-focus. Ndlela says instead of taking care of themselves, many women's priorities shift to the relationship and tending to their partner's needs, and the pressure to be more attractive subsides.

"When women are settled, they stop caring about how they look to their partner because they assume the other person has basically become blind to it. That is why some men stop loving them because they are not the women they married."

This is confirmed by Women'sHealth magazine.

According to them, new love is time- and mind-consuming, and people tend to skimp on gym time for more snuggle time.

"Certainly physical attraction plays a huge, initial part in relationships and compatibility - it's one of the reasons why people are first attracted to each other in the first place.

Typically, people "in the market" put more effort and energy into their appearance when they are entering a new relationship.

"But once those month and year anniversaries become too many to keep track of, chances are people become so comfortable in their relationship that impressing their partner is no longer the utmost priority," according to the magazine.

Ndlela says another problem is that many married women are lonely and that this can result in finding comfort in food.

"Once people are married, most men stop giving women the love they used to. When the couple is first courting, there's a lot of attention and men want to make a good impression, and after living together for a while that goes away.

"Many women turn to food as a coping mechanism. They eat too much as a way to fill an unrelated void caused by loneliness or a lack of intimacy."

She adds that the chosen foods are usually high in fat or carbohydrates such as pasta, rice, chips, or fried potato chips.

She says lack of sleep can also lead to weight gain.

"Some marriages bring with them bad people in the form of in-laws, ex-lovers, out-of-wedlock children and financial burdens that can lead to sleepless nights.

"Medical doctors and sleep specialists will tell you that insomnia will make you fat because a lack of sleep diminishes the amount of energy a person has. Less energy means fewer calories burned. Also, insomnia causes more cortisol to be released, which is detrimental to maintaining a healthy weight."

- johnz@sowetan.co.za

• This article was first published in print on 31 July 2012