I have been going out with my girlfriend for a year now.
She absolutely loves animals and has two dogs. I am not really a pet person and tolerate them for her sake. I find that she spends so much time and affection on her two dogs, touching them and kissing them all the time but is not as affectionate with me. I feel guilty for being jealous of her dogs. What should I do?
MOM replies: There are two problems here:
1. She loves dogs and you don't.
2. She is more affectionate with her dogs than with you.
It seems the two of you are mismatched. You will have to learn to love her dogs to stay in this relationship. Start by participating in her dog activities.
There's 24 hours in a day, slot in your affectionate moments when she's not kissing her dogs. She can't kiss them for 24 hours every day.
BOITUMELO replies: It's always important to find some kind of balance in life, in relationships and in our hobbies.
She might not be aware that you find yourself competing for affection with her dogs. This might be influenced by the fact that it's just dogs and not another "man" that maybe makes her think it's okay to spend so much time with them rather than with you. She might not see anything. You have to make her aware of your concerns and help her to adjust her actions.
Boitumelo Tshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. E-mail her at tumi.tshenkeng@gmail.com
Mandisa O. Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. E-mail her at mandisaomahlobo@gmail.com
I feel guilty being jealous of girlfriend's pets
I have been going out with my girlfriend for a year now.
She absolutely loves animals and has two dogs. I am not really a pet person and tolerate them for her sake. I find that she spends so much time and affection on her two dogs, touching them and kissing them all the time but is not as affectionate with me. I feel guilty for being jealous of her dogs. What should I do?
MOM replies: There are two problems here:
1. She loves dogs and you don't.
2. She is more affectionate with her dogs than with you.
It seems the two of you are mismatched. You will have to learn to love her dogs to stay in this relationship. Start by participating in her dog activities.
There's 24 hours in a day, slot in your affectionate moments when she's not kissing her dogs. She can't kiss them for 24 hours every day.
BOITUMELO replies: It's always important to find some kind of balance in life, in relationships and in our hobbies.
She might not be aware that you find yourself competing for affection with her dogs. This might be influenced by the fact that it's just dogs and not another "man" that maybe makes her think it's okay to spend so much time with them rather than with you. She might not see anything. You have to make her aware of your concerns and help her to adjust her actions.
Boitumelo Tshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. E-mail her at tumi.tshenkeng@gmail.com
Mandisa O. Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. E-mail her at mandisaomahlobo@gmail.com