It is no secret - child abuse is prevalent in South Africa.
Who can forget the case of nine-month-old baby Tshepang who was raped by her teenage mother's ex-boyfriend years ago?
The news at the time made international headlines and elicited national outrage.
More importantly, it brought to book the reality of how children are vulnerable to heinous crimes of abuse and sexual violence.
Over the years, Sowetan has given extensive coverage to the horrific reality of child molestation and rape in South Africa.
More recently, we reported on the case of a minor who was raped by four men and how her mother accepted money to keep quiet and not open a case.
A terrifying statistic published by Africacheck.org website reports that although the police have not reported the number of child rape cases separately in their annual report since 2008, when pressed for specific statistics, the police reported that their data shows 18524 reported child rapes for 2013/2014. That is the equivalent of 51 child rapes a day.
This chilling reality is enough to make any parent horrified and worried about the safety of their children. Worse, child rapists do not all don the terrifying image of a rogue with a mask in the middle of the night, and can be walking among us as in many cases the rapist is known to the family or worse he is part of the family.
According to the National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse, 90% are abused by someone they know, love or trust. Also shocking is that 20% of child sexual abuse victims are under the age of eight and most never tell their stories or recall their abuse.
The harsh reality is that your child could be abused in your home by an uncle or a neighbour. Is there a way to "molest proof" your child? Could you save your child from being a statistic?
We spoke to educational psychologist Anita Decaires-Wagner about what parents can do to try and molest-proof their children.
"I don't think there is a way that one could completely molest-proof their child, as you cannot always be with your child 24/7. I do, however, think that parents need to be constantly vigilant and equip themselves with 'tell tale signs' that something could be amiss," she says.
"Your child is likely to be more vulnerable to abuse in (populated and unsafe) settlements, where there could be tenants in the yard or perhaps the sharing of an outside bathroom. This is not to say molestation does not happen in leafy suburbs, of course it does, but I think the parents in settlements should definitely be more cautious," she says.
While most parents may be squeamish about getting down to discussing body parts and body image with their kids, Wagner says parents should do it as soon as possible.
"I'd recommend that parents start teaching their children about body parts around the age of three or four. That is when children have cognisance of their feelings - what feels good and what doesn't. So it's a chance for parents to talk about a good touch and a bad touch.
TIPS ON HOW TO GET STARTED:
- Compliment your child. Let them know how special they are and how precious their bodies are. This will instill a sense of worth in them to know when someone is making them uncomfortable.
- Let them know that because their bodies are so special, only mommy, daddy or any person you trust can bathe them, see, or touch their privates.
And if a third party does, to inform mommy immediately.
Remember to keep the conversation light-hearted. Do not freak them out.
- Gently let your child know that any body part that is covered by their underwear and swimming costumes is not to be exposed freely in front of strangers.
Children can be careless about this, making them vulnerable to predators.
- Bear in mind that predators groom children. They are extra nice to them, and can offer them sweets and other things.
Caution your child not to accept these from a stranger, or teach them to always ask you before accepting nice gestures from a stranger.
Be constantly alert to make your children 'molest-proof'
It is no secret - child abuse is prevalent in South Africa.
Who can forget the case of nine-month-old baby Tshepang who was raped by her teenage mother's ex-boyfriend years ago?
The news at the time made international headlines and elicited national outrage.
More importantly, it brought to book the reality of how children are vulnerable to heinous crimes of abuse and sexual violence.
Over the years, Sowetan has given extensive coverage to the horrific reality of child molestation and rape in South Africa.
More recently, we reported on the case of a minor who was raped by four men and how her mother accepted money to keep quiet and not open a case.
A terrifying statistic published by Africacheck.org website reports that although the police have not reported the number of child rape cases separately in their annual report since 2008, when pressed for specific statistics, the police reported that their data shows 18524 reported child rapes for 2013/2014. That is the equivalent of 51 child rapes a day.
This chilling reality is enough to make any parent horrified and worried about the safety of their children. Worse, child rapists do not all don the terrifying image of a rogue with a mask in the middle of the night, and can be walking among us as in many cases the rapist is known to the family or worse he is part of the family.
According to the National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse, 90% are abused by someone they know, love or trust. Also shocking is that 20% of child sexual abuse victims are under the age of eight and most never tell their stories or recall their abuse.
The harsh reality is that your child could be abused in your home by an uncle or a neighbour. Is there a way to "molest proof" your child? Could you save your child from being a statistic?
We spoke to educational psychologist Anita Decaires-Wagner about what parents can do to try and molest-proof their children.
"I don't think there is a way that one could completely molest-proof their child, as you cannot always be with your child 24/7. I do, however, think that parents need to be constantly vigilant and equip themselves with 'tell tale signs' that something could be amiss," she says.
"Your child is likely to be more vulnerable to abuse in (populated and unsafe) settlements, where there could be tenants in the yard or perhaps the sharing of an outside bathroom. This is not to say molestation does not happen in leafy suburbs, of course it does, but I think the parents in settlements should definitely be more cautious," she says.
While most parents may be squeamish about getting down to discussing body parts and body image with their kids, Wagner says parents should do it as soon as possible.
"I'd recommend that parents start teaching their children about body parts around the age of three or four. That is when children have cognisance of their feelings - what feels good and what doesn't. So it's a chance for parents to talk about a good touch and a bad touch.
TIPS ON HOW TO GET STARTED:
And if a third party does, to inform mommy immediately.
Remember to keep the conversation light-hearted. Do not freak them out.
Children can be careless about this, making them vulnerable to predators.
Caution your child not to accept these from a stranger, or teach them to always ask you before accepting nice gestures from a stranger.
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