GONE are the days when lipstick on the collar would be a dead giveaway that one's man had been up to no good.

Would it not be great if we could take a peek at a cheater's manual, and know exactly how they conduct their escapades?

Well, that is exactly what we did when we got together a group of brutally honest men, who tell us exactly how most men go about their cheating nowadays, and what lies and tricks we can look out for.

These men are from all walks of life, they do not know each other and have different occupations and age groups, but they all have one thing in common - they are willing to break the guy code, and open our eyes.

What these men have to say might go a long way to making you have an epiphany about what's going on in your current relationship.

Our focus group consists of Jabulani Hlathi, an actor and television presenter from Tembisa; Cecil Mleshane,  a radio content producer from Chiawelo in Soweto; Benedict Mofana, a miner from Thabazimbi in Limpopo; Ignatius Tau,  a technician from Mogwase in Rustenburg; and Thabo Molefe, an accountant.

What these guys agree on is that we need to throw the old rules out of the window as cheating has moved on with the times.

We start off by posing the question that has puzzled women since the start of time.

Why do men cheat?

Cecil: "Because there's always someone willing to cheat with them."

Thabo: "Because we are not happy and are too chicken to tell you."

Ignatius: "It's just sex, get over it."

Let us delve more into the tricks of the game:

The Cellphone

All the guys agree when it comes to activity on the cellphone, it has become too easy to be caught out.

 Ignatius: "Men are aware that women go through our phones. What most men would do, is have two phones.

One that's always left on display, without a security code or anything, that you can fiddle with and find absolutely nothing.

Then another one, usually one of those old phones with no access to social apps, that he can contact his mistress on. With those old phones, all you can receive are SMSes and calls, and with no evidence of chat history."

Jabu: "Most men apply the vital 3Rs when it comes to their cellphone.

Read, reply, and recycle."

Benedict: "Another trick is putting one's cellphone on flight mode. With flight mode you can see that it's on, and he's not receiving messages or calls, but if you only knew why."

Sleeping Out

If your partner doesn't sleep at home, it's indicative of suspicious behaviour, right? Think again, according to our focus group.

Ignatius: "A real cheater will always sleep at home.

Come on, if a man makes an excuse to sleep out, it's too obvious that he's taking time out with his mistress.

"What a good cheater will do, is see his mistress during his lunch hour, or for a few hours after work. But he'll always sleep at home, right next to you, to deceive you into believing that he's a good boy."  

Thabo: "I had a friend who told his wife that he was going to be putting in an all-nighter at work, and asked her to check his car's tracker if she didn't believe him.

"She did, and saw that his car was safely tucked away at his work's parking lot. "Meanwhile, he went in a cab and spent the night with his mistress."

Changes - Physical and Emotional

Benedict: "A cheating man will call you exactly 5 minutes before he meets up with his mistress, showering you with words of love.

"This is either to ease his guilt, or diffuse the situation because if you are left wallowing in a cloud of love, you'll forgive the fact that he came home a little late, or that his phone was off."

And Finally, Sex

Jabu: "Most men will come up with any excuse not to have sex with you after having slept with someone else a couple of hours earlier. They are honestly tired."

Ignatius: "Men who are cheating will make sure that you are kept very happy in the bedroom."

For more stories like this one, be sure to buy the Sowetan newspaper from Mondays to Fridays