MY WIFE and I have been married for six months. She comes from a very big, close-knit family.

MY WIFE and I have been married for six months. She comes from a very big, close-knit family.

My wife and I are both fairly well employed and we have our own home.

We have worked hard for what we have. I am getting very irritated with her family who are always at our home. Every weekend people just pitch up and we are expected to feed everyone.

My wife is the cook and waitress. We never have time to ourselves. My wife is four months pregnant and she runs around for her family all the time.

She works all week and by the weekend she is exhausted.

I sometimes go out to be with my friends because I cannot stand being with them.

Don't get me wrong, they are very nice people. But I feel they are taking advantage of us and it is making me really angry. When I go out with my friends it upsets my wife.

Her twin sister has now asked her if she can move in with us because it will be easier for her to get to varsity where she is studying.

Thank goodness my wife said that she would have to discuss it with me.

Now how do I say no without offending her family? This is not what we planned and certainly not how I see our future together.

How should I handle this? - Tired of family, Randburg

DUDU'S RESPONSE:

I am sure you must be frustrated that you have no time alone with your wife and I am sure the cost of entertaining so many people all the time is high.

I don't think it is fair for you to go out and leave your wife to look after her family, particularly since she is pregnant.

You need to seriously discuss this with your wife.

Don't say bad things about her family, but tell her that their visits need to be controlled.

Decide together on when you are prepared to entertain the family.

Start going out together on weekends and this will ensure that her family phones you before they arrive unannounced.

Depending on the relationship your wife has with her mother, perhaps she could speak to her about it.

She could say that both of you love the family, but you also need some time on your own to start building your life together.

She could also add that with the pregnancy she needs to rest, considering that she works full-time. As far as your wife's sister moving in with you is concerned - only the two of you can make that decision together.

Again, you can point out that with the baby arriving you will not have the room - nor the time - to see that the sister is sorted out.

Obviously, you have to handle this very carefully so as not to upset her family.