FOR reasons known only to itself, the Cope - remember it? - still harbours ambitions of one day defeating the "Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" at the polls and becoming Mzansi's governing party.

Its resourceful and know-it-all leader, Mosiuoa "Terror" Lekota, always does his best to take time off his "busy schedule" to offer the Machine Gun Man some advice on how to run the country, just as he did in the national assembly shortly after the State of the Nation Address.

He warned the Machine Gun Man on the scourge of unemployment and poverty, saying: "Unless we address it, we won't be able to address the economy and help our people find their way out of the backwardness and squalor that face them".

Well and good for him.

But Guluva believes that before Lekota & Co can even start dreaming of running a bath tub, let alone running a country, they should start cleaning up their house first, including their website, which still names one Phillip Dexter as the party's national spokesman.

If Lekota & Co were paying attention, or "coping", they would have realised that the nomadic Dexter left Cope in acrimony to rejoin "Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" 51 days ago.

Out in the cold

STILL on Phillip Dexter. The Nomadic One went back to the revolutionary party because, many people say, "it's cold outside the ANC", as the Woodwork Boy aka Juju, warned during a rally in Port Elizabeth ahead of the 2009 general elections that catapulted the Machine Gun Man to the highest office in the land.

It's a pity Juju, aka Inconvenient Youth, won't have the opportunity to tell the Nomadic One: "I told you so", because he himself is on his way out into the cold after he was found guilty of sowing divisions and bringing the party into disrepute.

Now they are going to have a situation in which the Nomadic One is inside the tent pissing out and Juju outside the tent pissing in.

Reds don't see red anymore

THE South African Communist Party (SACP) is either entirely satisfied with the way things are or it is running out of ideas.

Guluva yearns for the days when deputy-general Jeremy Cronin used to captivate us with moving speeches, such as the one in which he lamented the zanufication of the "Ain't Seen Nothing Yet", which at the time was under the leadership of the Tobacco Pipe Smoking Intellectual.

Guluva is saying this because the Reds have for the past two and a half years not produced a single discussion document to its name. The last two circulated to members were issued out in November 2009. One was a rural development policy framework and the other was titled: "Responding to the capitalist crisis: key challenges facing the working class movement and our government".

But, hang on! Was 2009 not the year that almost the entire SACP's central committee, including comrade Jeremy and the Sharp Razor Blade joined the Machine Gun Man in forming a new government?

It's a pity that while they are lapping it up in luxury, they have forgotten to tell people like Guluva that the revolution is over and that there will be no more discussion documents.

Email thatha.guluva@gmail.com