WHEN Ain't Seen Nothing Yet KwaZulu-Natal comrade Lihle Barrington Khuzwayo launched a bid to take control from the Inkhata Freedom Party of Ward 89 in Umlazi, outside Durban, in this year's May 18 local government elections, he found there were many people who were eager to lend him a hand.

Out of the goodness of their hearts they hit the campaign trail, combing every nook and cranny of what was once a "no-go" area for Ain't Seen Nothing Yet followers.

They did not show any hint of fear, not even when they were abused, had insults hurled at them and were threatened with violence by their political opponents.

In the selfless spirit of the struggle, campaign team members woke up at the crack of dawn every morning to campaign for him and returned to their homes well after dusk. And all the while Comrade Khuzwayo was convinced they were just being comradely.

Comrade Khuzwayo went on to convincingly win the ward. Now, instead of basking in the glory of victory, members of his now-disbanded campaign team are not on talking terms with their new councillor, and are giving him a dirty or icy look every time they meet him in the street.

But on payday they make a beeline for his home to borrow a few hundred rands, a packet of sugar, a tin of fish or even ask for the use of his car.

The more sophisticated among them even send him invoices for "services rendered" or ask for a percentage of his monthly councillor's salary to compensate them for their campaign work.

Protests Comrade Khuzwayo: "But I am not in a position to split my salary. After all, I have two wives and seven children to take care of."

Guluva is surprised that Comrade Khuzwayo is surprised by all this.

The street rascal believes that the 33-year-old councillor has been in the trenches long enough to know the "people shall share" socialist-inspired struggle philosophy.

Not black enough

EVERYBODY in Mzansi knows that Pretoria News rugby writer Vata Ngobeni is as black as they come.

So when he went to the All Blacks country - New Zealand - to cover the 2011 Rugby World Cup he thought he was going home, so to speak.

But when he arrived at Taupo - another All Blacks stronghold - he found to his surprise that he was the only black in town, and probably the only Shangaan in the entire country. The local police were not amused, so they promptly threw him in jail.

"What kind of All Blacks are these?" Ngobeni is said to have muttered to himself as they frisked him for drugs.

Maybe he is not black enough.

Good job, if you can get it

GOING back to the issue of invoices, Guluva is finally convinced he is in the wrong job.

He should have tried his hand at specialist foreword writing or mastered the art of penning press releases. He should even have gone to train as an information alignment professional or an organisational structure alignment executive, whatever this means.

With the going rate for writing a press release at R12000 and penning a foreword "as part of something" perched at the R190000 mark, courtesy of the Generous Auntie Gwen, she of the Department of Public Works fame, Guluva would be rolling in the money by now.

E-mail Guluva on: thatha.guluva@gmail.com