THE Machine Gun Man has proved that when it comes to selling one a dummy, he has no rival.
This probably has something to do with the soccer skills he learnt, mastered, polished and perfected while incarcerated on the island for "furthering the aims of a banned organisation".
Some of the political prisoners who were jailed with him can attest to his dexterity on the soccer field. He was, they say, a ball juggler in the mould of one Lucas "Masterpieces" Moripe, who always left defenders sprawled on the turf once he was done with them. The Machine Gun Man was a prolific goal poacher too they say.
He has now seemingly transferred all those skills to the political arena, where he uses them with brutal efficiency and effectiveness.
No one knows this better than members of the SA National Taxi Council, who on the eve of 2009 national elections went on the rampage and threatened to disrupt the polls if the implementation of the bus rapid transit system was not halted.
The Machine Gun Man was not even Mzansi's president at the time, but he wrong-footed them when he said: "I'm proposing that we hold horses for now and we come back . if that's agreed then let's get back to business."
He then urged them to vote for his party to enable it to "make decisions" in government. He got the vote but the implementation of BRT still went ahead. That's when they realised they had been outmanoeuvred. Score: Machine Gun Man 1, Mzansi FC 0.
Fast forward to 2010. Just days before the May 18 local government elections the SA Municipal Workers Union threatens to cause havoc if he signs the so-called cadre deployment bill into law.
Flashing his disarming and infectious trademark smile, he promises them he will never do such a horrible thing. But before they know it, off he runs with the ball, beats an offside trap and lobs the ball into the far right-hand corner of the posts, out of reach of the hapless goalkeeper. The bill has become law and the score now reads: Machine Gun Man 2, Mzansi FC 0.
Also on the eve of the May 18 municipal elections, Ain't Seen Nothing Yet members threaten to cause all sorts of mayhem if candidates nominated fraudulently are not removed from the election lists.
He dissuades them from engaging in such acts and encourages them to vote for his candidates even if they don't like them. He promises to sort out the mess after the elections.
A task team has been established to investigate the matter. But with no time frame to work with, the team is not expected to produce a report any time soon.
The score: Machine Gun Man 3, Mzansi FC 0.
Having now scored a hat-trick, the Machine Gun Man, who is tightly marked this time around, desperately wants to increase the tally to 4-0 to show his mettle and prowess.
But his wingers - national police commissioner General Bheki Cele on the left flank and Public Works Minister Gwen Mahlangu-Nkabinde on the right, both implicated in wrongdoing in the controversial police lease deals - make his task difficult since they keep on venturing into offside positions.
But Guluva can bet you his bottom dollar that Mzansi's ball wizard will find an opening and sneak in a crucial last-minute goal.
Just watch this space.
E-mail Guluva on thatha.guluva@gmail.com
Mzansi caught napping
THE Machine Gun Man has proved that when it comes to selling one a dummy, he has no rival.
This probably has something to do with the soccer skills he learnt, mastered, polished and perfected while incarcerated on the island for "furthering the aims of a banned organisation".
Some of the political prisoners who were jailed with him can attest to his dexterity on the soccer field. He was, they say, a ball juggler in the mould of one Lucas "Masterpieces" Moripe, who always left defenders sprawled on the turf once he was done with them. The Machine Gun Man was a prolific goal poacher too they say.
He has now seemingly transferred all those skills to the political arena, where he uses them with brutal efficiency and effectiveness.
No one knows this better than members of the SA National Taxi Council, who on the eve of 2009 national elections went on the rampage and threatened to disrupt the polls if the implementation of the bus rapid transit system was not halted.
The Machine Gun Man was not even Mzansi's president at the time, but he wrong-footed them when he said: "I'm proposing that we hold horses for now and we come back . if that's agreed then let's get back to business."
He then urged them to vote for his party to enable it to "make decisions" in government. He got the vote but the implementation of BRT still went ahead. That's when they realised they had been outmanoeuvred. Score: Machine Gun Man 1, Mzansi FC 0.
Fast forward to 2010. Just days before the May 18 local government elections the SA Municipal Workers Union threatens to cause havoc if he signs the so-called cadre deployment bill into law.
Flashing his disarming and infectious trademark smile, he promises them he will never do such a horrible thing. But before they know it, off he runs with the ball, beats an offside trap and lobs the ball into the far right-hand corner of the posts, out of reach of the hapless goalkeeper. The bill has become law and the score now reads: Machine Gun Man 2, Mzansi FC 0.
Also on the eve of the May 18 municipal elections, Ain't Seen Nothing Yet members threaten to cause all sorts of mayhem if candidates nominated fraudulently are not removed from the election lists.
He dissuades them from engaging in such acts and encourages them to vote for his candidates even if they don't like them. He promises to sort out the mess after the elections.
A task team has been established to investigate the matter. But with no time frame to work with, the team is not expected to produce a report any time soon.
The score: Machine Gun Man 3, Mzansi FC 0.
Having now scored a hat-trick, the Machine Gun Man, who is tightly marked this time around, desperately wants to increase the tally to 4-0 to show his mettle and prowess.
But his wingers - national police commissioner General Bheki Cele on the left flank and Public Works Minister Gwen Mahlangu-Nkabinde on the right, both implicated in wrongdoing in the controversial police lease deals - make his task difficult since they keep on venturing into offside positions.
But Guluva can bet you his bottom dollar that Mzansi's ball wizard will find an opening and sneak in a crucial last-minute goal.
Just watch this space.
E-mail Guluva on thatha.guluva@gmail.com
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