Goddess of peace loses her cool
THE day when there will be a fine line between peace and fury will be the day when humankind will be in serious trouble.
In fact it seems that day has already dawned, meaning that we might all be in deep, deep trouble already.
As you know, thousands of Americans were recently left stranded and destitute when Hurricane Irene, named after the Greek goddess of peace, unexpectedly unleashed its fury on their vast country's east coast, crippling airline, shipping and rail transport networks. But it was uncharacteristic for a goddess of peace to wreak such untold havoc.
We in Mzansi also did not escape the wrath of the infuriated Greek goddess.
The relentless lashing of the United States' east coast by Hurricane Irene took place almost at the same time that Ain't Seen Nothing Yet's top brass decided to hold a meeting to discuss a number of pressing issues affecting the organisation.
The venue they chose for the monthly jamboree was a small town called - wait for it - Irene, in Ekurhuleni, which also incidentally means "a place of peace" in Xitsonga.
But the message that came out of the four-day meeting in Irene was not of love and peace, but of war and fury. The Machine Gun Man came out with guns blazing, declaring war against the Woodwork Boy, the organisation's enfant terrible, for bringing the party into disrepute.
Irene was turned into a war zone almost overnight between Ain't Seen Nothing Yet bosses and the kindergarten prefect, with the Woodwork Boy aka Juju returning to the town a few days later to respond to the Machine Gun Man's war talk.
It was in Irene where Juju, who yesterday faced the party's disciplinary committee on charges of bringing Ain't Seen Nothing Yet, dared its leadership when he said: "The ANC is not a pig; it does not eat its own children. The ANC that eats its own children is no longer the ANC that we know."
It all started in Irene.
If Mzansi knows no peace after this episode that is unfolding before us, we can all blame it on Irene, the Greek goddess of peace, who inexplicably and uncharacteristically lost her cool and unleashed her fury on us.
Shaking in his pants
STILL talking about names, if there is any soccer fan out there who does not know who Oupa Manyisa is, it is time he or she polished his or her soccer knowledge.
The unassuming and soft-spoken Orlando Pirates lad has a penchant for scoring crucial goals, including the 30m scorcher he drilled past Mamelodi Sundowns' hapless Wayne Sandilands, who dived in vain, unable to stop the ball sailing into the net.
One could say Manyisa was simply living up to his family name, which means "the one who beats you up until you involuntarily release your solid bodily waste", to give it mild meaning.
Manyisa is the reason Pirates are in the MTN8 final against arch-rivals Kaizer Chiefs to be played at FNB Stadium on September 10.
No prizes for guessing who is shaking in his boots - and pants - right now.
That is why Guluva smelled a rat when a caption writer in another newspaper - that will remain nameless for now - identified the Pirates' silent killer as Oupa Moloto.
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