JUST when we thought the Makhaza and Moqhaka open-loo sagas had finally been flushed down the toilet along with the intense and bitter politicking that went with the recent local government election campaigns, out pops another loo.

This time it is waterloo, or more precisely a remote area called Waterloo in KwaZulu-Natal where residents went on the rampage the other day demanding that the councillor who had been elected barely 24 hours earlier, Mxolisi Mzibomvu, not be sworn in.

The angry residents dared their bosses at Luthuli House in Johannesburg to fulfil their promises to replace all councillor candidates whose names had been irregularly put on the election lists ahead of the polls.

Waterloo is also, incidentally, present-day Walloon Brabant in Belgium where ruthless French ruler Napoleon Bonaparte met his Waterloo, or was defeated by coalition forces on Sunday, June 18 1815 - ending his rule exactly 100 days after his return from exile.

With Ain't Seen Nothing Yet marking its 100 years of existence next year, is the KwaZulu-Natal's "Battle of the Waterloo" perhaps signalling that the ruling party is about to meet its own Waterloo sooner rather than later?

Last National Bank

Mzansi has been liberated from apartheid injustices and racial prejudices for a good 17 years now. Although the freedom we all enjoy today has brought with it funny characters such as the Woodwork Boy aka Juju and Steve Hofmeyr, it is freedom all the same.

Everyone knows we are living in a new and liberated Mzansi, but somehow someone has forgotten to tell the people at First National Bank that we have all been freed from even the last remnants and relics of the racist apartheid system.

Despite portraying itself as a bank of the future, FNB is seemingly still steeped in the past - more than a decade and a half after the dawn of democracy.

A friend of Guluva's was executing an Internet banking transaction the other day when he noticed that the bank's Giyani branch was said to be situated in "Tvl", an abbreviation for Transvaal for all the born-frees.

Transvaal, if FNB did not know, died the same day that the liberated Mzansi assumed nine provinces.

Now that FNB is the last to be freed from apartheid bondage, why don't we just call it the Last National Bank? Or, how else can we help it?

Whatisname?

Guluva does not know whether to condemn or feel sorry for Ain't Seen Nothing Yet's Nelson Mandela Bay regional chairman, Nceba Faku.

Faku invited an unnecessary barrage of criticism to himself when he reportedly called for the offices of a critical Port Elizabeth-based newspaper, The Herald, to be burned and for all the black people who voted for Madam Godzille's party during the local government elections to be thrown into the sea.

That was after his party narrowly regained control of the all-important but beleaguered Nelson Mandela Bay Metro in the closely contested municipal polls on May 18.

Such inflammatory language is deplorable and cannot be condoned by any right-thinking South African, and Faku knows it.

But Guluva also condemns many people in his growing legion of detractors, some of whom shout Fak-U every time they see him in the street or on TV!

Email Guluva on thatha.guluva@gmail.com.