HOW we South Africans simply love commissions of inquiry, task teams and committees. Every time we are confronted with a problem - or a challenge in politically correct speak - we throw a commission of inquiry, task team or committee at it.

What did Ain't Seen Nothing Yet do when it was faced with the highly combustible issue of fraudulent election lists ahead of the May 18 local government elections? To avoid a backlash at the polls, the party announced it would establish a task team to resolve the saga once the elections had been done and dusted.

So Guluva was, similarly, not at all surprised to hear after the elections that the ruling party was to establish an internal committee to interrogate why it had haemorrhaged support in traditionally white areas, for instance, in these polls.

Guluva believes he can save the ruling party the trouble of setting up this committee. All Ain't Seen Nothing has to do to find the answer is to rewind to that fateful day on May 15 when it held its Siyanqoba rally cum music festival at FNB Stadium - three days before the polls.

This was the day when the Woodwork Boy aka Juju, in his eternal wisdom, boldly told a 90000 predominantly black crowd and in front of national TV nogal: "The DA is for whites and it is not for you ."

After the Woodwork Boy had spoken, what did Oom Gwede and his comrades expect the poor whites to do? Therein lies the answer!

Secret ballot

Which brings Guluva to another issue: which party did Derek Hanekom, Jeremy Cronin and Marthinus "Kortbroek" van Schalkwyk - all important members of the Ain't Nothing Yet alliance - vote for in these elections?

They voted for the ruling party, of course, Guluva hears you say.

But, honestly speaking, there's no way of knowing that. Their vote, after all, is their secret.

With the Woodwork Boy aka Juju telling whites like Hanekom, Cronin and Van Schalkwyk in no uncertain terms that the DA is for them, we also can't be too sure where the three comrades' votes went.

Unless, of course, they think their comrade is a buffoon.

Now ANC pleads poverty

Still on the May 18 local government elections which representative/leader of which political party cited the "lack of resources", among other things, for performing dismally in the polls?

(a) Chief Mangosuthu Buthelezi of the Inkatha Freedom Party;

(b) Phillip Dexter of the Congress of the People;

(c) Songezo Mjongile of the African National Congress; or

(d) Bantu Holomisa of the United Democratic Movement.

The answer is, believe it or not, "c". Mjongile, Ain't Seen Nothing Yet's Western Cape provincial secretary, told a post-election press conference after managing a paltry 32,8 percent of the vote in the province, compared with Godzille-De Lille Connection's 60 percent achievement, that his party did not have adequate resources.

A party that had its own election helicopter; hung election posters on every second pole in metropolitan areas; deployed its heavyweights in every nook and cranny of the country; bought expensive newspaper advertising spaces, and radio and TV slots; and linked its main election rally at FNB Stadium with regional rallies via satellite does not, for Guluva, look like an organisation that is out of pocket?

Try another one, comrade!

Email: thatha.guluva@gmail.com