WHEN Guluva heard through the grapevine that a group of Mzansi comedians will converge on Montecasino in Fourways, Johannesburg, on January 22 for the industry's inaugural achievements awards, his first reaction was: are they really serious or are they just pulling a fast one on us as usual?

For Guluva this funny crowd do not come across as the type of people who can, by the very nature of their trade, organise a piss-up in a brewery - let alone an awards ceremony - without making it a laughing matter.

Guluva reckons that such a gathering would have a greater chance of succeeding were it to take place on April Fool's Day than on an insignificant date such as January 22.

The fact that the South African Comics' Choice Awards, as the awards are uncharacteristically boringly called, have been scheduled for Montecasino is a perhaps tacit admission on the part of the organisers that the initiative is a big gamble.

Attempts to stage similar events in the past came to naught. A lack of sponsorship was cited as the reason.

Just why companies did not trip over one another in the rush to sponsor such a commercially promising occasion is open to interpretation.

Though the potential for a return on investment is seemingly very high, bankrolling such a grouping also has its own risks. Instead of the company reaping its rewards, there is also the possibility of the organisation or its brand becoming the butt of jokes from this unpredictable and ungrateful lot during and after the occasion. Clearly, no marketing manager worth his or her salt would like to see his or her company becoming a laughing stock.

Be that as it may, Guluva would like to give the organisers the benefit of the doubt this time around and wish them all the success with their new initiative.

But what do you really expect to happen when a bunch of clowns meet under one roof? Guluva can almost guarantee that this gala awards function will, in many ways, be a comical affair.

Jokes aside, there will be fun galore.

It will be especially so if it is graced by Mzansi's funniest stand-up comedians such as David Kau, Trevor Noah, Joe Mafela, John Vlismas, Pieter-Dirk Uys, Barry Hilton, Nick Rabinowitz, Loyiso Gola, Aggrey Lonake, Riaad Moosa, Mabutho "Kid" Sithole, to name a few.

May the best clown win!

Clowning spin doctor

Mabutho Sithole - not the clowning type, but he of the political variety - wrote a scathing piece in last week's Mail & Guardian in which he lashed out at Guluva's colleagues in the media, accusing them of being ignorant of his boss, Mpumalanga Premier David Mabuza's achievements.

"Do not play the man," the spin doctor-in-chief from the Land of the Rising Sun bellowed as he made an appeal to his media nemeses, real or imagined. "Play the ball, and judge him on service delivery. Innuendo, gossip-mongering, character assassination, media speculation and brown-envelope journalism have no place in our society."

Interesting, especially coming from a man who was himself recently accused of trying to bribe a City Press journalist when he allegedly handed him a big bundle of cash to drop a story critical of his boss.

But excuse Guluva, Mr Sit-Hole. Does this mean it is OK to bribe a journalist as long as the offending boodle is not in a brown envelope?

E-mail Guluva on: thatha.guluva@gmail.com