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DisGrace Mugabe tells her side of the Gideon Gono story

By REDI'S TAKE - REDI TLHABI | Oct 29, 2010 | COMMENTS [ 405 ]

HELLO! My name is Grace Mugabe, first lady and loving wife of one of Africa's longest serving democratic presidents, Robert Gabriel Mugabe.

I realise I am a favourite target for South African newspapers. It is a pity my husband's government has had to shut down some Zimbabwean newspapers because they did not appreciate the true value of my news-worthiness and instead focused on banal things like corruption, freedom of speech, violence and our economy - or what's left of it.

One of South Africa's Sunday newspapers reported that I was cheating on my husband and having an affair with his right-hand man, the gorgeous, virile, sexy and, oh, so smart Gideon Gono. Yes I am salivating but that does not mean I am having an affair with him.

I might or might not be doing hanky-panky with Gono, but I have lived long enough to know that once you get accused of being a woman of easy virtue, there is simply nothing you can do to defend yourself.

But to those who think I am cheating on my dear benevolent husband, consider the following before you judge me.

I am a hot-blooded 45-year-old woman with expensive tastes.

I also, contrary to popular belief, have a brain that I put to great use as chief typist for my husband, who at that time was not my husband but someone's else's husband and the father of my children. I'm not sure but this might explain why I am called "disgrace".

My mind boggles at how archaic and stupid some people are. Since when is having children with someone's husband a crime?

The fact that dear Sally was battling old age and a terminal illness at that time does not mean Bob and I must defy God's own instruction to "be fruitful and multiply!"

The life of a first lady can be very lonely and cold. Gucci, Ferragamo, Ralph Lauren, Versace, Yves Saint Laurent and Valentino can only bring temporary joy to my heart. I need strong arms to hold me, a comforting voice to soothe me when the poverty around me gets me down and of course Eros, the god of sex to fulfill my "other" needs. Now, take a look at Gono and then look at my husband. Which of the two do you think meets these basic requirements?

Also, put yourself in my shoes. As a 45-year-old I still have my life ahead of me, so what am I supposed to do while my husband is ageing?

Besides, if I am having an affair, I can assure you it would be a temporary arrangement while my dear husband finds solutions for his expiring prostate, that's all!

It is a pity other first ladies will not be bold enough to back me up on the loneliness of being a first lady. Most of them would be too timid and afraid to confirm the long hours of their husband's absences and the limitations of our kind of life.

Unlike some couples, we cannot just stop and kiss in public, we can't hold hands and go out on a date. Oh, and the pain of raising children alone, while your husband gallivants, solving the problems of the world. It really gets so lonely.

If the president looked like Barack Obama any first lady would make a bigger effort to be involved and keep the intimacy and romance burning.

As for our arch-enemies, the first couple of the UK, David and Samantha Cameron, I find it sickening the way they gaze into each other's eyes in public! Do they not have a repossessed farm where they can do this in private, like Gono and I do?

Lastly, I wish to clarify and correct reports that people who have affairs with me or know about them end up disappearing or "meeting God". I won't dispute their disappearance or deaths but does anyone actually know for a fact that they did meet this God? It is never wise to make unsubstantiated allegations of this nature.

COMMENTS [ 405 ]

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@ qalowak and KUKU

pleas stop fighting for each other guys, fighting is not good. monna wa mopedi are Ntlo lerole ga etswale kgoshi. so pleas guys with due respect little owa le rata and ke a lekopa tuu, don't fight.

just pray together with me and reconcille.

ke sale o monnyane
morena thekga pelo yaka
yo mobe a sekene
go kene wena jesu creste
wena mong waka
Amen

pleas apologies to each other even if you know you are innocent, for the sake of peace.

Oct 29, 2010 11:52 | 0 replies

@mrumbashasha

o fihla ka bo phapi son. what you saying to me bona papa they have said it all over again. sweety you wasting your time calling me names and think i will beg off and yes thats exactly who i am. so shut the up

Oct 29, 2010 12:0 | 0 replies

Sheriff

I will try to arrange something...

Oct 29, 2010 12:0 | 0 replies

@Bdoobs and others,

Okay...I choose to stop because ha ke rate ntwa. It's Okay for us to disagree but not insult one another....and I hope Sowetan can throw a Party for us.......☺

@Sowetan - Please bring back my face...I am faceless...please..please....

Oct 29, 2010 12:0 | 0 replies

@qalowak
abuti if thats how u spk to ppl,den thats not a gud way to go but since well u are the only problem u will ever have u are the only solution

time is more preciouse than waisting tym ka wena>>>>>it helps to listen
PLS DONT REPOND

Oct 29, 2010 12:1 | 0 replies

@kuku

you are fighting me. you called me sebotho,semaumau for what ye kuku for what mang?

Oct 29, 2010 12:2 | 0 replies

@AusiOprah

kwa...kw...kwa...kwa...kwa....
It was just a joke when bloggers said I was writting my exam...I've long passed that stage...
ha ke ngwana wa sekolo hun....

Oct 29, 2010 12:2 | 0 replies

@qalowak,
Yippyyyyy
For the first time in u'r life u confronted someone without using Vulgar....Yippyyyyyyyyyyyy ☺

Oct 29, 2010 12:3 | 0 replies

@KasiKid,nanagal,...i saw IceQueen ko mandela naming blog nw nw

Oct 29, 2010 12:4 | 0 replies

@kuku

o tswe honna wena nxah

@tctlhapi

kgaohana lenna wena akere the is an article to comment on so leave me alone period nxah

Oct 29, 2010 12:4 | 0 replies

@KasiKid...Catty88

Oct 29, 2010 12:5 | 0 replies