CAN someone please help? Former Reserve Bank governor Tito Mboweni is badly in need of a real day job.

Ever since he was relieved of his duties/recalled/fired/left the bank by mutual consent/left of his own volition/had his contract not renewed - whichever applies - Mboweni has been twiddling his thumbs at home.

Though he moonlights as chairperson of both AngloGold Ashanti and packaging firm Nampak and as adviser for international investment banking group Goldman Sachs these days, Mboweni really misses day-to-day action, including the occasional skirmish with newspaper photographers.

The other day he came on air during the 3-2-1 Quiz segment of John Robbie's show on Talk Radio 702 to answer a question just for the fun of it.

Mboweni - a hands-on, action-oriented 51-year-old - then confessed to the loneliness and boredom of being a pensioner before his time. Help - any job will do.

Endless WC saga

In his earlier life, Guluva would have berated anyone who referred to the Western Cape as WC, and not without good reason.

But not anymore! Ever since Godzille's crowd took over the running of the province from the Ain't Seen Nothing Yet, all we read about in the newspapers or listen to on the radio is about toilets, toilets and more toilets.

Everyone by now knows about the shame of the "toilets without walls" built by Godzille's administration in Khayelitsha's Makhaza human settlement, as Tokyo Sexwale would refer to it. The stink is continuing to pollute the atmosphere with no resolution in the air.

Just this week Rhoda Kadalie, a Cape Town human rights activist, columnist, author and staunch Ain't Seen Nothing Yet critic, was complaining about nothing else but toilets. This time it concerned the appalling condition of toilets in the Cape Town City Hall.

Guluva no longer castigates people who use WC as an abbreviation for Western Cape because they are spot on. According to his dictionary, WC stands for water closet or toilet.

Now, if Godzille's crowd, which has now become the Godzille-Zille Connection, cannot build or repair a toilet, what hope do we have that they can run a country?

Secret business in public

A clause in the service level agreement between the Gauteng government and Sibize International Calling, the company awarded the contract to handle the province's car licensing system, had Guluva's head spinning. He had to read the clause, published earlier in the Star, a couple of times before he could understand what the authors were on about.

"Neither party shall without the written consent of the other, issue or make any public announcement or statements, including media statements, regarding this agreement, including, without limitation, any reference to its existence, its terms, conditions, the details of the negotiations leading to this agreement, or the identity of the parties or any operations carried out or to be carried out pursuant thereto unless it is necessary for the parties to make such public announcement or statement in order to comply, within the Republic of South Africa or elsewhere, with a statutory obligation or the requirements of a competent government agency or a recognised stock exchange, in which case, such party shall consult with all the other parties before making such public announcement or statement." Guluva can't believe it took these guys 124 words to say that "this business must be conducted in secret".

• E-mail Guluva on: thatha.guluva@gmail.com