Mixing with the wrong crowd - including people such as the Woodwork Boy, the enfant terrible himself - seems to have done more harm than good for Zizi Kodwa, the otherwise intellectually astute communications adviser of the Machine Gun Man.
Congratulating Team SA on its commendable achievements at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi, India, over the past two weeks, Mr ZZZzzzz (not to be confused with Mr Zuma) told a radio station that after achieving position five "in the world", this country would go all the way to become number one when our athletes take part in the Olympic Games in London in 2012.
Well and good; but that can only happen in Dreamland, Mr ZZZzzzz! Not in this century, at least!
If Mr Kodwa had cared to check the facts, which are readily available, he would have found out that only 71 countries, all members of the Commonwealth, took part in the games in India.
Commonwealth countries include Antigua and Barbuda (population: 88000), Tonga (102000), Vanuatu (241000) and Bahamas (343000) and do not on their own constitute "the world", Mr Kodwa.
The Commonwealth, for the record, also excludes sporting powerhouses such as Russia and the United States.
Team SA's performance in India, though highly commendable, did not convince even the most optimistic of optimists that South Africa would conquer the world come 2012.
Just look at the medals tally to see the point that Guluva is making. Team SA: 33 medals, 12 of which were gold; Australia: 177 medals (74 gold).
Kodwa's unrealistic expectations and misguided optimism notwithstanding, he is still one of the most brilliant men that Ain't Seen Nothing Yet has in its midst, Guluva reckons.
Of pipes and machine guns
The big Thabo Mbeki snub was revealing in more ways than meets the eye.
While some of "the best brains from Africa and the African diaspora" were meeting at the Sandton Convention Centre to launch the Tobacco Pipe Smoking Intellectual's Thabo Mbeki Foundation and the Thabo Mbeki's African Leadership Institute, the Machine Gun Man and the rest of the post-Polokwane lot were nowhere to be seen.
Guluva has heard on the grapevine that the post-Polokwane crowd felt the Tobacco Pipe Smoking Intellectual was a defeated and disgraced leader who could not lecture them on leadership.
While delegates at the launch heard that Mbeki's foundation was aimed at helping to eradicate poverty and underdevelopment in Africa - some of the critical issues facing this government - the Machine Gun Man was leading by example, if you get Guluva's drift, at a rather obscure Matsushima Karate Cup dinner in Durban, where he handed out a couple of prizes and reportedly received an honorary award himself.
ONSIDE: Also leading by example were six senior officials of the uMhlathuze municipality in Richards Bay, KwaZulu-Natal, who chose to forego their annual bonuses, deciding instead to channel the money to their community.
Imagine what it would mean for the country if all politicians and bureaucrats - right from the president down to municipal managers - were to do the same.
OFFSIDE: Is Anwar Dramat a dramatist or policeman? He must choose one if he wants to remain on the taxpayers' payroll. Cancelling the 1998 arms deal probe was totally uncalled for.
E-mail Guluva on: thatha.guluva@gmail.com
Honey, Zizi has shrunk the world!
Mixing with the wrong crowd - including people such as the Woodwork Boy, the enfant terrible himself - seems to have done more harm than good for Zizi Kodwa, the otherwise intellectually astute communications adviser of the Machine Gun Man.
Congratulating Team SA on its commendable achievements at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi, India, over the past two weeks, Mr ZZZzzzz (not to be confused with Mr Zuma) told a radio station that after achieving position five "in the world", this country would go all the way to become number one when our athletes take part in the Olympic Games in London in 2012.
Well and good; but that can only happen in Dreamland, Mr ZZZzzzz! Not in this century, at least!
If Mr Kodwa had cared to check the facts, which are readily available, he would have found out that only 71 countries, all members of the Commonwealth, took part in the games in India.
Commonwealth countries include Antigua and Barbuda (population: 88000), Tonga (102000), Vanuatu (241000) and Bahamas (343000) and do not on their own constitute "the world", Mr Kodwa.
The Commonwealth, for the record, also excludes sporting powerhouses such as Russia and the United States.
Team SA's performance in India, though highly commendable, did not convince even the most optimistic of optimists that South Africa would conquer the world come 2012.
Just look at the medals tally to see the point that Guluva is making. Team SA: 33 medals, 12 of which were gold; Australia: 177 medals (74 gold).
Kodwa's unrealistic expectations and misguided optimism notwithstanding, he is still one of the most brilliant men that Ain't Seen Nothing Yet has in its midst, Guluva reckons.
Of pipes and machine guns
The big Thabo Mbeki snub was revealing in more ways than meets the eye.
While some of "the best brains from Africa and the African diaspora" were meeting at the Sandton Convention Centre to launch the Tobacco Pipe Smoking Intellectual's Thabo Mbeki Foundation and the Thabo Mbeki's African Leadership Institute, the Machine Gun Man and the rest of the post-Polokwane lot were nowhere to be seen.
Guluva has heard on the grapevine that the post-Polokwane crowd felt the Tobacco Pipe Smoking Intellectual was a defeated and disgraced leader who could not lecture them on leadership.
While delegates at the launch heard that Mbeki's foundation was aimed at helping to eradicate poverty and underdevelopment in Africa - some of the critical issues facing this government - the Machine Gun Man was leading by example, if you get Guluva's drift, at a rather obscure Matsushima Karate Cup dinner in Durban, where he handed out a couple of prizes and reportedly received an honorary award himself.
ONSIDE: Also leading by example were six senior officials of the uMhlathuze municipality in Richards Bay, KwaZulu-Natal, who chose to forego their annual bonuses, deciding instead to channel the money to their community.
Imagine what it would mean for the country if all politicians and bureaucrats - right from the president down to municipal managers - were to do the same.
OFFSIDE: Is Anwar Dramat a dramatist or policeman? He must choose one if he wants to remain on the taxpayers' payroll. Cancelling the 1998 arms deal probe was totally uncalled for.
E-mail Guluva on: thatha.guluva@gmail.com
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