DEAR Somizi "Somgaga" Mhlongo

Shwa feels like she's picking on you a bit, but this has to be addressed. Let's call it tough love.

Honey, you try too hard. You are almost 50 and you've been in the industry for 35 years, but you still behave like the young gay boys of Melville desperately seeking attention and approval.

Is it a midlife crisis?

At the Miss South Africa pageant last weekend you looked like the poor man's Lady Gaga in those gold-trimmed glasses, leggings (yes, leggings!) and oversized coat.

You are someone's father. You have no business behaving like a 21-year-old contestant on RuPaul's Drag Race. Have a little respect for that role.

You did a good job with the choreography, but in general you miss the mark with everything else.

Even Lady Gaga has calmed down a little, and you might afford us the same courtesy. A bit of money and a few expensive shoes don't give you carte blanche to be a pubescent rock star forever!

XOXO,

Shwashwi