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A Ferrari will always stick out like a sore thumb in Venda

Vusi Nzapheza Straight & 2 Beers
The PIC was considering a request for R2bn from VBS Mutual Bank before its spectacular collapse earlier this year.
The PIC was considering a request for R2bn from VBS Mutual Bank before its spectacular collapse earlier this year.

The vulgarity of it all is astounding. The brazen robbery of a rural bank certainly lacked finesse and daring artistry associated with a proper bank heist.

The theft of stokvel savings and mopani-preneurs' funds was callous in the extreme. The little-known VBS Mutual Bank, with branches you can count on the fingers of one hand, has laid bare the malfeasance of greed at the expense of the poor in this country.

Like everybody else and their poodle, I am perturbed by the putrid scourge of corruption, but for a different reason. The connivance and collusion of our politicians in corrupt activities demonstrates a lack of manners.

There is a need for The Straight & Two Beers School of Ethics to instil a culture of etiquette at the feeding trough. Some of the courses on offer will include Corruption 101 and Bribes For Beginners.

The course will be open to all politicians and government officials, including principals who pilfer school funds and feeding schemes, tjotjo-taking traffic officers and docket-shredding detectives.

The reckless manner in which corrupt politicians allow their spouses and nyatsis to flaunt their luxury cars and expensive rags on Instagram is a red flag.

That is exactly what one of the alleged looters of VBS Mutual Bank did before the scandal exploded in his face. By the time he asked the missus to delete her Insta-
ccount, it was too late.

The Guptas themselves had a nice thing going on until they flew their Sun City wedding guests from India and landed them at our national key point.

That single error laid bare their nefarious state capture caper and now they are on the run from the law.

Before the Guptas, the late Brett Kebble entrenched the practice of greasing the paws of greedy politicians.

Corruption is a fact of life in many countries. China is so fed up with it that those caught are publicly executed.

Pundits trace the roots of post-democratic pilfering to the 1990s arms deal. Long before the 1994 breakthrough, arms dealers were wooing top ANC politicians when it became clear the comrades would soon take over from the apartheid masters.

No sooner had Madiba stepped into his office at the Union Buildings than the arms dealers were enticing his comrades with discounted SUVs.

Since those heady days, hardly a week passes without a politician being busted in the media. For the record, the National Party government were masters of state looting. Their shenanigans remain in the shadows because they got the undertaking of the ANC to let sleeping dogs lie.

The school I'm establishing will help the rapacious looters to conduct their business with decorum. You simply do not steal and spit in the eyes of your victims by posting your largesse online.

Tuition will be free but a 90% retainer will be payable upon a successful execution of a heist. This would curb the giveaway practice of flaunting the loot and encourage the thieves to behave decently, especially during a recession. A Ferrari will always stick out like a sore thumb in Venda.

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