JZ may be keeping some running shoes handy after eventful first meeting of the Recalled Presidents Club

Jacob Zuma

The Southern African Development Community (SADC) this week announced the formation of the Recalled Presidents Club (RPC).

This follows the recall of President Jacob Zuma last week, adding to those of Thabo Mbeki a decade ago and Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe in November.

Straight & Two Beers was leaked a transcript of the inaugural meeting of the RPC. It started with an unimpressed Mbeki accusing Zuma of not hosting a farewell dinner after ousting him in 2008. Zuma was treated to a farewell cocktail by President Cyril Ramaphosa on Tuesday.

Mugabe (RM): "I was fired because I wanted my wife, Grace, to succeed me."

Zuma (JZ): "I was fired because I wanted my ex-wife, Nkosazana, to succeed me."

Mbeki (TM): "You (pointing at Zuma) fired me and my wife was not even a part of the equation."

Order! Order!

RM: "Thabo, you have been out in the cold for longer. What do we do now?"

TM: "Well, I'm now a statesman and go to places like the Sudan to mediate in conflicts and so on and so forth. I also have a foundation based at Unisa where we mentor leaders."

RM: "Mentor leaders? Do you want them to be recalled too?"

"He, he, he," Zuma laughs.

Order! Order!

JZ: "I also have a foundation and we play chess and give food parcels during the festive season."

TM: "But you'll be busy in court because you are going to be charged."

RM: "You mean you did not negotiate an amnesty, like I did with Mnangagwa?"

JZ: "No, I was busy trying to find out the reasons why I was being recalled."

Mugabe and Mbeki laugh out loud.


RM: "My advice to you, Jacob, is you should run."

TM: "Ramaphosa is a jogger and looks very fit, so JZ can't run far like Ajay Gupta."

Mugabe and Thabo start singing Thuma Mina!