Nomsa Buthelezi comfortable in her heart with lesbian partner

06 November 2018 - 10:25
By Karabo Disetlhe
Nomsa Buthelezi and lover Zandile Shezi.
Nomsa Buthelezi and lover Zandile Shezi.

Hundreds of the LGBTQI+ community celebrated the annual Johannesburg Pride last Saturday and the one person who had the biggest case of FOMO was Our Perfect Wedding presenter Nomsa Buthelezi.

The actress and presenter says she was looking forward to going to her first Pride march with her partner, Zandile Shezi, whom she posted about in August on Instagram to her fans who had not known she was lesbian.

Unfortunately, because of her Our Perfect Wedding schedule, which clashed with Pride, she was unable to attend.

But, Buthelezi says there was a silver lining.

"God works in mysterious ways. I was in Rustenburg, in Luka, shooting an episode of Our Perfect Wedding. But it turned out to be a lesbian wedding. I was over the moon. I got to have my own Pride in Luka."

Buthelezi says she is in a very good space with her partner Shezi, who is based in KZN.

"She is very supportive of me, and loves me just as I am. It is very liberating to be with someone who is comfortable in their sexuality and does not need to hide. We have both had our fair share of relationships with people in the closet, who would have a lot of restrictions about what we could and could not do in public."

"In this relationship, we can be ourselves and show love to each other however we want. We hold hands in public, we kiss and we don't have to be apologetic about it," she said.

Buthelezi also said that body shaming is very rife in the LGBTQI+ community, and she is lucky to have a partner who embraces her every curve.

"In our community there is this sinister mentality that being a certain size makes you unattractive. But I am lucky to have a partner who does not want me to lose an inch.

"I was recently talking to her about getting a summer body and she was adamant that she does not want to lose her meat. She says I can do whatever I want but that she loves me with some meat on my bones, and that I should stay as I am."

Asked whether she will be having her own perfect wedding soon, Buthelezi says she is open to the idea.

"I would love to get married. Right now my partner and I are enjoying dating, because it has only been nine months since we got together."

Buthelezi said she has received immense support from her elderly parents, who she said she suspects have always known about her sexuality.

"Over the years they would give me hints that insinuated that they knew about my sexuality, like constantly encouraging me to be myself and reassuring me that they love me regardless. So I think they knew that I was not straight.

"They are very supportive of my relationship. They have met my partner and they love her. My mother is such a character and would ask me questions like 'how do you guys get intimate', and I always tell her that she has ushukela [diabetes] and that she will faint if I told her, which always puts her in her place.

"My [two] kids also love and embrace me as their mom, and although they experienced bullying and teasing in school about their mom being lesbian, it has not shaken them."