BOOK EXTRACT | How observing behaviours and learning values shaped Noganta

Growing up in the rural part of South Africa could be a blessing or a curse.

Some years ago, in a small, dusty rural town called Nqamakwe, a baby girl named Nomvuyiseko Gloria Noganta, whom her mother fondly called “the old soul” and ntomb’ emfutshane (the short one), was born.

The dusty town may not even be located on the South African map, but what is key is that it gave birth to a short, humble soul who has committed her life to show the Higher Power’s limitless and abundant grace despite life’s tribulations and trials.

This book is about me and my experiences growing up in Nqamakwe; the communal expectations to which I dismally failed, my response to my failed marriage and my search for personal meaning amid the uniformity that is preached day in and day out.

I must confess that my upbringing and my experience in Nqamakwe have shaped me into the person I am today.

My commitment to living a life that reflects the abundant grace of the Higher Power is the focus of this book, which explores my personal journey in search of meaning in a world that often values conformity over individuality.

My ability to break away from the norm, being ostracised by some at some point, and how my mother, who became my navigation tool whilst conforming to the uniform values, systems, and beliefs, helped me become a happy outcast.

Where I come from, your life lessons come from observing behaviours, learning values, experiencing life, and defining your life by what you see, hear, and observe.

There is a deep communal uniformity in this kind of place that, if you don’t think about it critically, has the ability to swallow you deep in its gorges and drive you towards depression. However, if you can rise above it, you can find empowerment and spiritual enlightenment.

When you are young and hot-headed, you make decisions that have a huge impact on your life and those close to you, whether they are negative or positive.

Growing up in the rural part of my country was a blessing and helped me become who I am today. Without this upbringing, I would never be the parent, friend, guide, lover, colleague or person I am today.

Neither would I have had the wisdom to guide the three determined young women, Khanyisa, Siphokazi and Ayanda, to whom I gave birth.

Through my experiences, I have learned that mistakes and challenges are opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

I hope that by sharing my story, others can learn from my successes and failures and use them to navigate their own life journey.

I never realised when I left the relationship that nearly destroyed me in my twenties how my life would turn out to be a blessing to others or how my conversations with my mother would take me out of a very dark pit of anger, revenge, sadness and hurt.

My journey has taught me that sometimes the most difficult decisions lead to the most rewarding outcomes, and that seeking guidance and support from those who love us can be a powerful tool in overcoming adversity.

I am grateful for the lessons I have learned and the chance to inspire others to persevere through their own struggles.

The moment I chose to be joyful despite the troubles I was facing and the goals I had failed to achieve, will always be the most defining moment of my life.

That sudden decision to take my three girls and leave the marriage for good would not only be my ancestors’ or the Higher Power’s grace for me, but it would open up a string of blessings that saw my children attain life successes.

Khanyisa is a Principal Data Scientist; Siphokazi is an International Chef in New Zealand; and Ayanda is a Business Strategist, all working for reputable, internationally acclaimed companies.

They have all succeeded in their own way and helped me discover the meaning of my life. In turn, I am assured that my grandchildren’s future is bright.

I have come to see this with Ndivuya, Khanyisa’s daughter and Uzandise, Siphokazi’s son. Life has taught me that our journey to our being, understanding our historical course, and knowing our Maker are all important.

Every person should, at some point, take time to reflect, regroup and refocus their spiritual compass towards this remarkable process.

Unless and until one embarks on this beautiful path, there will always be something lacking – an inevitable unhappiness that lingers on.

Some get a glimpse of this path through their religious connections and practices; however, it is often simply a glimpse because it has an external focus and for some, it is led by intellectual capacity.

One needs to focus fully inward, with a view to quieting one’s intellectual abilities and allowing the soul to take the lead.

The beauty of love followed by intellectual wisdom is an aroma and an embrace that envelopes all those who are close to the individual.

Fully embracing the inward focus and allowing the soul to take the lead, can lead to a profound sense of fulfilment and happiness that cannot be found through external means. This path is not easy, but it is worth it for the beauty and wisdom that it brings.

I hand over this book to you, hoping you will take something from my journey of self-discovery. I must clarify that my qualifications to write this book are based on my personal trials and tribulations and the joy and happiness I have found amidst all of life’s troubles. I am not a professional therapist.

To the reader, please know that your humble beginnings are not your future; your future is what you do with your humble beginnings.

A young rural girl who only knew how to look after cows, milk sheep, tend to chickens and plant mielies sought to heal herself and discover herself with only one goal in mind: to attain happiness so she could be of greater service to others – a noble feat on its own.

This is an extract from A Story of Hope: Collecting my Broken Pieces after Divorce By Gloria Nomvuyiseko Noganta