Start of new season needs introspection of your circle

September, popularly known as the Heritage Month, marks the African new year.

New beginnings, a new season and a build-up to the December holidays which frankly is probably the most eagerly anticipated 31 days of the entire year. SA and South Africans transform in December, everyone is jovial and high-spirited. We’re just a “happy to be here” bunch altogether.

Many may be slightly cynical and attribute our positive mood to substances, as it is known that liquor and substance consumption skyrocket during the festive season, but I like to think that it has a lot to do with weather among other things.

Allow me to go on a bit of a tangent for a second and talk about how much I think we, collectively, significantly underestimate the impact of season on our mood. Winter is brutal, man! This winter was even more brutal than I would have liked it to be. 

Let me provide a little more context, I permanently reside in the Southern Peninsula and our winters are characterised by nonstop rain. I jokingly started a weather channel series on my socials often capturing videos of heavy and violent rains and near gale force winds. I was utterly miserable while friends and family residing in other parts of the country often boasted about sunny days and warmer weather. 

Towards the end of August, instead of a transition towards better weather for springtime, the Western Cape decided to let out a little snow just as the extra sprinkle to ensure that we forever remember the winter of ‘24. I am sincerely grateful that at the time of the snowfall, I was in Gauteng enjoying better weather – as I truly deserve.

My mood immediately improved, as it was warmer – however, the dry air and harsh heat affected my skin... What can I say? Life is a balance of taking the good with the not-so-good, I guess.

Gauteng is beautiful and warm... but dry. I feel less lethargic as well... I can sincerely attribute that to the weather. Equally, I think it was important for me to cross over into a new season and attain that jolt of energy brought forth by good weather. To cross over into the new year and have it feel like there is much to be excited about. YAY!

I must also be that person who reminds you all to conduct a review of the kinds of people, relationships and situations that you are embroiled in. Don’t get too caught up in the good vibes and forget to clean up shop. As we emerge from an incredibly hectic retrograde season, some relationships might not have survived the communication challenges that came with it. If there is space, rebuild and re-work. If not? Move on with your life and wish everybody nothing but love and light.

I too was recently in a position where I had to ultimately decide on a friendship under a lengthy review. I am a firm believer in accountability – especially at the collapse of friendships. Sometimes though, there is a false sense of accountability or perhaps an overemphasis wherein I always want to take ownership of actions conducted that could have ultimately led to the demise of a friendship. Even if those actions were conducted from a place of non-malice or with purely good intentions.

The end of any relationship, especially a friendship, is difficult to accept, especially when there is a revelation of the true nature of an individual. Simply put, realising that a person was not who they said they were, is even more distressing. What do you mean you wore multiple faces and told multiple lies to multiple people? Hai!

When I say my friendship was under review, I mean I haven't spoken to or seen this individual in a couple of years due to their abominable behaviour, however, I had not written them off. I am truly African because I live by the philosophy that there isn't a humane way possible to discard people. “Awukho umgqomo womntu, mntanam” as my grandmother used to say alluding that it will always be in our best interests to find ways of coexisting with people even when we feel we want to remove them from our lives. I digress...

It was not until I had multiple recent interactions with varying people that I validated my feelings of distress and unhappiness towards the behaviour of this person. I thought “ahhh nguye o-wrongo ku Acrimony” (which loosely means that she was at fault) and I am valid in my feelings.

I hold both teachings close, learn to let go of people who commit to behaving badly while accepting that you can coexist with people by instilling boundaries that protect your sanity.

What is the point of this you ask? It is a reminder that you should clean up shop, nurturing those who nurture you back while forgiving yourself and others for staying in situations that were resulting in disregard and disrespect.

Remember to celebrate the season, setting new intentions and perhaps reviewing the ones set at the start of this Gregorian year. 

Love and Light. Always!