WEDDING | Clash of the cultures

Celebrating a fusion of love and heritage with Kgaugelo Masweneng and Lindokuhle Gumede’s modern multicultural nuptials. 

The meeting

Kgaugelo: In April 2017, I was going through the most horrific heartbreak. I was accompanying my friend to a graduation but, due to limited space at the venue, decided to meet up with a friend at Campus Square [in Auckland Park, Joburg]. There was this guy who looked gentle and kind who knew my friend.

He made me feel at ease and I was happy to talk to him. We were there from 5pm to 11pm, just talking. We shared our first kiss that night and exchanged numbers.  

Lindokuhle: I had made plans to have dinner with our mutual friend at The Dros at Campus Square. At the time I was single and sussing out the scene. I joined them at their table. She had short hair and bright red lipstick, and I was immediately attracted to her. The friend left us on our own for the longest time and during our time together something clicked.

She was authentic, fearless, and spoke her mind — a match made in heaven. The next day, when I drove down to Durban to meet my brothers, I showed them photos of her and told them she is the one.

The lightbulb moment

Lindokuhle: She mentioned that her birthday was coming up in May and I wanted to do something special for her [a road trip to Mpumalanga]. At some point it got frustrating, we got lost, and I panicked because I wanted everything to be perfect. She calmed me down. I remembered that what mattered was that I was with her. 

Kgaugelo: About the time he planned the Mpumalanga road trip, I was falling for him and felt secure in his love. It was so beautiful. Less than a year later I fell pregnant with our firstborn and gave birth in December 2018. 

Lobola negotiations

Lindokuhle: I was nervous and stressed. The talks were robust. Don’t negotiate for yourself because it’s too emotive for you to have clarity of mind and could derail you from getting the wife of your dreams.

Kgaugelo: I felt like a spectator because we love each other and then there were these other people who would decide whether we continued with our love or not. However, the reality is that it’s for your own good. It was an act of love, and it revealed to me how my family see me. It was a beautiful feeling. 

Culture shock

Lindokuhle: Marrying across different cultures [he’s Zulu, she’s Pedi] is both interesting and challenging. It’s not the culture that is challenging, but the understanding and translation of customs is very different. One thing Kgaugelo and I agree on is that Zulu and Sepedi people are similar in their cultural nuances; our temperament, zeal, and passion. 

Kgaugelo: I was marrying a Zulu man and I’d never seen a Zulu wedding growing up. It was unheard of in my village or my family and caused quite a stir. Through me, they [family] experienced him. In my village, I’ll always be the girl who married a Zulu man.  

The white wedding 

Kgaugelo: I was an extremely late bride — that’s the highlight of my wedding. After a ceremony at my in-laws’ in Eshowe we made our way to the venue in Ballito, KwaZulu-Natal. Even though we were extremely late, my entrance with the brass band was worth the wait and soothed our guests.  

Lindokuhle: It was stressful, but I enjoyed the way she came into the chapel — she didn’t walk down the aisle in the traditional fashion, she mixed it up. The priest said to me that it reminded her of a scripture where David had gotten back the Ark of the Covenant and he was dancing with jubilation. I was like, “Wow — this woman was truly made for me.”

The traditional wedding

Lindokuhle: As an African man, it was important for me to be married in accordance with my culture, for my people in my village to bear witness to my marriage. It filled my heart how my community showed up and were happy for us. It was a momentous day. It was beyond my wildest dream. 

Kgaugelo: The ceremony welcoming the bride, umabo, was the most explosive experience of my life. It was a friendly battle of cultures; we had our brass band and they came with their dance boys, or amabutho. We won. It was a beautiful exchange of us as people. I felt welcomed and full.  

Groom’s fit

Lindokuhle: I looked like royalty in the Zulu traditional attire. To add the amabutho — the crowd of men who accompanied me and belted out our songs — awakened something deep within my soul that says I’m a proud African. 

Bridal dresses

Kgaugelo: During my consultation with my designer, Tuelo Nguyuza, the brief was to mix our two cultures and marry them into one look. The dress was a pleated ballroom gown in red, which is a colour I only wear on important days. The hemlines had different Pedi colours and beadwork that spoke to the Zulu culture. I wanted something bold and authentically me, and I loved it. 

Tips from the bride

Kgaugelo: Brides should be flexible. I insisted that my dad walk me down the aisle and we waited until 5.30pm for him to come back, which he did not, only for my brother to walk me down the aisle. I almost jeopardised my day due to my stubbornness.  

*Masweneng is an employee of SMag’s sister publication TimeLIVE