It goes down in the DM: Welcome to Atlehang and Mbuelo May's wedding

Yes, no, maybe? That’s how an undecided Atlehang May started her romance with her now-husband Mbuelo. 

The meeting

Mbuelo: My brother had a crush on one of her [Atlehang’s] friends and kept raving about this pretty girl. In December 2016, we went to Durban and my brother’s crush and her friends were coincidently there as well. He then showed me a picture of his crush and Atlehang was in it too. I started asking about her. I managed to get her Instagram handle and sent her a friendship request, which she accepted. She then followed me back. I am not one to DM girls, but our connection was different and we started talking.

In August 2017, we met in person and got to know each other on a more personal level. But she got cold feet and told me she had a boyfriend — that’s when I backed off and decided not to pursue her.

Atlehang: I told him I had a boyfriend because I thought we were moving too fast, plus I thought he was a player. Only a year later, after I asked him what had happened to us, did I welcome him back into my life. I liked him from the beginning… I was just guarding my heart against potential hurt.

Dating

Mbuelo: We officially started dating on 2 November 2019. I remember that day vividly, it was the Rugby World Cup final and the Springboks were crowned champions. I wanted to make the whole thing special. I bought her flowers because I was fetching her from her family home, and was going to meet her mother for the first time. I also bought her mother and younger sister gifts, so I could make a good first impression.

The lightbulb moment

Mbuelo: The moment my brother showed me a picture of Atlehang and her friend I knew she was the one. There was just something about her. After spending more time with her I realised that she was the perfect companion for me. I also loved the way she engaged with her family, because that showed me how she’d deal with my family or the potential family we might have one day. She’s a very kind, selfless, and resourceful person, which I love the most about her.

Atlehang: While it was love at first sight for me, the way we were with each other during our dating phase convinced me that he was the one. I knew he was the man I’d like to spend the rest of my life with. He is so loving and giving with a big heart. I’ve always wanted a God-fearing man, so I’m glad I found him.

The proposal

Atlehang: I must say, 15 March 2021 was one of the best days of my life. He actually tricked me that day and I had no clue that he was going to propose. He got his brother to take me to some “dinner” we supposedly had to attend with friends. I had no idea Mbuelo was also going to be there. I didn’t find it odd that there was a cameraman taking pictures. When it was my turn to [have my picture taken], I turned and saw Mbuelo at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me with a ring in his hand.

Mbuelo: Growing up, my brother and I used to talk about how we would propose. We were raised with the saying, “Whatever you do, always make sure you do your best,” so I knew my proposal couldn’t be typical. I looked for the best venue and it ended up being The Munro Boutique Hotel in Joburg.

I had rose petals on the path she had to walk on, champagne for us to toast when she said yes, and Daniel Caesar’s song Blessed in the background as she walked down the stairs towards me. She was surprised to see me, because I’d lied to her and said I was working until late that evening and wouldn’t make it to the dinner. I’m glad she said yes despite her shock at my going down on one knee.

Lobola negotiations

Mbuelo: My uncles went to her house to complete lobola negotiations and, after all the formalities, it coincided in the celebration and became our traditional wedding in May last year. Since she’s Xitsonga, we were dressed in bright colours from her culture. The groomsmen and bridesmaids were dressed in the same colours as well. We had good food, danced a lot, and knew we had to do a white wedding.

The white wedding

Atlehang: We got married in October last year. We chose to get married on the beautiful plains at Thaba Eco Hotel in Joburg. I loved how secluded it is from the city and how serene it is. The hall we chose catered for the number of guests we invited. I opted to go with white and blush as the colours for the deco; I wanted to keep it classic, elegant, and simple. I was the happiest that day because I got to say “I do” to the man of my dreams.

Mbuelo: We had a great time with our friends and family. We had fun guests who made our day memorable. Some of our friends even told us that they didn’t feel like they were at a wedding — they felt as though they were at a show, seeing how entertaining Atlehang and I were. Because we both love dancing, we danced most of that day. Everything fell into place so nicely; it was indeed our perfect wedding.

The dress

Atlehang: I won’t lie, looking for a wedding dress is stressful because I am very particular. Because I am quite petite, my biggest worry was where I’d get a well-fitting dress and, luckily, I found Diamond Love Bridal Couture on Instagram after seeing a beautiful gown on my algorithms. I was so happy with my wedding dress; it was very elegant and the mermaid shape was just perfect for my body.

The suit

Mbuelo: I wore one suit for the first half of the reception and another for the ceremony. I didn’t want to wear a black suit or any colour close to it, I wanted something not too wild but still different. So, I went for a burgundy-type suit that I fell in love with the moment I bought it. Because our wedding lasted until the evening, I planned to switch things up with the black tuxedo that I had.

Top tips

Atlehang: Don’t worry about things going wrong and wanting perfection — rather focus on enjoying every moment of your blessed day.

Mbuelo: You as a couple might have a good idea about an aspect of your wedding but some family members might want to impose their ideas on your vision. So, it’s important to always remain a unit… you have to be a solid team before you can bring in the family.

You also don’t want to go the “my way or the highway” route because, at the end of the day, they are family, so striking a balance is important.