Kwanele Kubheka and Thabo Cele seal a lifetime of happiness with a stunning princess-cut diamond ring

The meeting

Thabo: We met in Durban at the Blue Lagoon Hotel four years ago. A mutual friend was throwing a party and we were both invited. I remember being quite smitten with Kwanele and how she looked that day. I knew I had to make her my girlfriend.   

Kwanele: For me, Thabo was just some random guy who was trying his luck. I didn’t take him seriously at first, because I was already in a relationship. Even though I kept turning him down for three months, he persisted, and I eventually gave in and agreed to go out on a date with him.   

The lightbulb moment

Thabo: Not only is she easy on the eyes but she also has a kind heart. And she’s good with my kids from my previous relationship. When Kwanele and I started dating, I knew I was ready to settle down with her, unlike with my previous partner. That’s how I knew she was the one. She ticked all the boxes, and I was convinced I had to take her hand in marriage.  

Kwanele: I loved his approach; he was so gentle and soft with me. I felt so safe around him, even though I’d only known him for a short while before we got married.

The proposal

Thabo: We flew to Atlanta in the US for her birthday. While I was still in South Africa, I planned to propose to her at a particular restaurant in Atlanta. I obviously went on one knee after we had our dinner. I was so nervous that I didn’t even give her a chance to say “Yes”, I just slipped the ring onto her finger.

Kwanele: I remember being so tired on the day he proposed. I couldn’t understand why he was on my case about us staying longer, even after we’d finished our dinner. All I saw was him on one knee, with a stunning princess-cut ring in his hands. I knew then that I totally wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man.

The ring

Thabo: Every other day we’d have a ring discussion, and I used those conversations to find the kind of ring she wanted. We’d go to jewellery shops and try out things and I’d return the following day to ask what size the ring was that she had tried on. I knew Kwanele wanted a princess-cut ring with a big stone on it, and I found one at Sterns for R28 000.

Lobola negotiations

Kwanele: Because of my culture, Thabo had to pay for lobola before he even thought of proposing to me — this way my family could see how serious he was about wanting to take my hand in marriage. He sent his uncles in August 2019, and we decided to have our traditional wedding shortly afterwards.

Thabo: Everything went smoothly; in fact, my uncles came back with more change than I’d expected. They were very good with the negotiations. I decided to pay lobola not only for Kwanele but for her daughter too. I felt that it would be unfair to take her as my wife and not her child, as I wanted to make sure we’re a perfect blended family, including my kids.

The traditional wedding

Kwanele: We had our traditional wedding in December 2019. We got married before he proposed. We threw a huge wedding that we celebrated with our friends and family… even people from my neighbourhood knew I was getting married.

Thabo: I was the happiest on our wedding day. Finally, I was marrying the woman I truly love. Now I need to make sure I give her the Western white wedding that she’s been dreaming of. She wants a forest-themed wedding, so I hope to give her that.

Top tips

Kwanele: Take it easy and don’t rush to get married if you’re not 100% ready. Go with your own flow as well as your partner’s. Don’t feel pressured by family or friends to take this step, because it’s such a big decision to make.

Thabo: Take your time to enjoy the relationship you have with your partner. Have open discussions about the issues in your union and always make sure that both voices are being heard and valued in the relationship. Yes, there’s no perfect marriage, but with hard work and dedication everything will fall into place.