There is an undeniable magic to being a woman. Women possess the divine power to bring life, and yet too often they are strong-armed out of decision-making spaces thanks to antiquated societal norms and biases.

Yet, against all odds, women remain a marvellous wonder. We ask six women to share their experiences of what it means to be a woman.

*Dineo, single, student, 19

Successful and educated women are seen as a threat, as women are no longer dependent on others to provide for them. Women are now building themselves up instead of waiting to be built up.

In the next five years, I hope to have got my honours qualification in public relations and governance, and a good job. And a possible side hustle.

We need more women in leadership positions because a female perspective is so crucial when decisions are being made, especially when the decision affects both men and women.

A woman’s beauty doesn’t hinder her ability to get the job done. We have beauty queens and slay queens holding it down for themselves as proof of this.  

Mpho Madigi, single, unemployed, 21

South African women are the most endangered species on this planet. The power and control that men have been given in our culture have given them the platform to exercise violence with little to no consequences.

I believe marriage is about love and not about service or culture. We marry to stay committed to the ones our hearts have chosen, not to be slaves to tradition. 

Being an unemployed young woman in South Africa has become a normalised concept. It’s more difficult for me to find work given my gender, age, and race than for an older white male. Being an unemployed young woman feels like a trap, because when you fall in this category, all odds are against you.  

I rock both synthetic and natural hair as I am a firm believer in having and abusing all your hair options. Hair should be used to express, not to decorate. But I do love myself some natural hair, especially when the coils are so tight that they form puffs.

*Kgomotso, engaged, actress, 27

Our tradition and culture put unrealistic expectations on women. We are expected to be domesticated and have career goals while being worthy to be boasted about in the family. To top it all, we need to make the other person feel like he is a man and not put him in a place where he is questioned about his actions.

Single women who are not bound by religion are happier and liberated, because they do as they please. Many single Christian women I know are unhappy, as marriage is the one way to be intimate with a man and start building a life with someone.

It’s complicated to make new friendships when you’re an adult. There are too many groups and cliques in the adult world. We don’t want to be too much, so we put up walls.

Spirituality keeps me sane. A man who does not subscribe to the same God as I do is a dealbreaker.  

*Sabrina, pansexual, occupation teacher, 30

As a woman, I can be a safe place for other women. The women in my family and friendship circles have taught me not only to show up for others but also to show up for myself.

Being a woman who is part of the LGBTQIA+ community is very isolating. You’re always expected to put on a performance to be affirmed, not only by heterosexual people but by queer people as well.

If I were the president of South Africa for a month I would pass the Bill for more LGBTQIA+ representation in all corporate, creative, health, and educational sectors of our society, which is integral to changing society’s treatment of queer people. More queer people, especially women, should be considered for managerial positions or be assigned leadership roles. I would also ensure that the legislation allows for more safe spaces such as shelters, support groups, and social hubs for queer people who are displaced owing to homelessness, hate crimes, and personal distress.

Ntokozo Khumalo, wife and mother, business development strategist, 35

It is the unrealistic expectations within our family life that oppress our women. I believe that Black people could benefit from a better and more encouraging understanding of the positives in our culture and traditions, to build stronger gender relations.  

Motherhood is challenging and taxing, but also very rewarding. It was more difficult to be a mom pre-Covid than it is now. Covid-19 made it possible for both my husband and me to find our place in the roles we need to play in our children’s lives, which has made it less taxing for me as a mother.

Men still occupy the majority of senior management positions; however, that narrative is shifting. Covid-19 has highlighted that women are capable leaders in various sectors, including entrepreneurship.  

Women’s pull-down syndrome is a thing of the past. Women are doing a much better job at empowering each other and holding each other accountable.

Marriage and money require having an open and honest conversation. My husband and I attended marriage counselling for 18 months when it was supposed to be for six months, to better understand our money habits.

Shosho Mmutlana, single mother, entrepreneur, 53

Violence against women in our country is aggravated by our cultural tradition, because women are perceived to be subservient to men. Societal norms and systems play a role as well, because women are paid less than men and occupy lesser positions. Therefore they are not at the same level as men economically.

Motherhood enhances the experience of being a woman. Men who are pursuing relationships with single mothers must realise that kids are part of the package. 

In my journey in life, I have learnt that I am enough and that the life God has given me is perfect.

*Not her real name