Ayanda opens up about bullying on Real Housewives of Durban

Season five of the popular reality TV show Real Housewives of Durban introduced viewers to Ayanda Mthembu. The 36-year-old optometrist and mother of three opens up to Sowetan about her time on the show so far – from her relationship with her twin sister Andile Pieterson to bullying on the show and the much-awaited reunion special.

Sowetan: In what ways has filming a reality show felt familiar or similar to your experiences growing up?

I came into this experience hoping to meet mature women and build meaningful connections. Sadly, I was disappointed to see that, just like in parts of my past, some women still resort to bullying. I don’t know if it’s the pressure of reality TV or if the drama is expected, but it wasn’t what I had envisioned. That said, I’m in a place in my life where I can stand up for myself with confidence and without losing who I am. I’ve learnt that when people choose to bully others, it often speaks more to their unhealed wounds than to the person they’re targeting. I genuinely hope they find the healing they need.

Sowetan: Is there anything from the episodes so far that you’d like to clear up or explain?

There’s been talk about how “the twins talk too much”, but the truth is, all of us have strong personalities and big opinions – that’s part of being on this kind of show. My sister and I are just naturally close and always communicating. If you ever sit between us, you’ll get it! It’s definitely a twin thing.

Sowetan: How would you describe your relationship with your sister?

My sister is my person, my best friend, my mirror. She gets me in ways no-one else does. Doing this with her by my side has been such a special part of the experience.

Sowetan: Are you ready for your first reunion?

I’m ready for the reunion. I stand by who I am and how I showed up. I didn’t compromise myself, and I can walk into that room with confidence knowing I stayed true throughout.

Sowetan: Do you feel like Nonku has given you a fair chance?

When it comes to Nonku, I’d say yes and no. When we spoke one-on-one, outside the group setting, I genuinely felt a connection. She was open, and I saw a softer, more relatable side of her. But within the group, I experienced a very different version of Nonku: someone who, at times, came across as a bully. I wasn’t very receptive to that energy. That said, I still believe there’s room to build some kind of relationship with her, if she’s open to it too.

Sowetan: Why do you think people should keep watching the rest of the season?

I’d really encourage people to keep watching. There are still so many powerful moments coming up, real conversations, genuine connections, and scenes that show us simply enjoying each other without the drama. I think the trip is going to surprise a lot of people in the best way.