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Chrissy Teigen opens up not 'fully processing' her third baby Jack's death

Khanyisile Ngcobo Story producer
Chrissy Teigen and John Legend.
Chrissy Teigen and John Legend.
Image: Steve Granitz/WireImage

US model Chrissy Teigen says she doesn't “really feel like I fully processed” baby Jack's death, almost a year after her miscarriage.

Teigen, 35, made this candid admission in a lengthy post shared on Instagram on Monday where she reflected on her life in New York.

The cookbook author, who shares children Luna and Miles with husband John Legend, posted an image of her and Legend sharing a joke while seated at Frank restaurant next to a post sharing her memories of her visits to the eatery, which is “just a couple blocks away” from where she lived with the singer. 

“John had a basement apartment with a roommate and I used to sneak cigarettes (ew) through the little half window that lined up with the sidewalk. Basically, a window where you could only see people’s shoes. Anyhow, I’d either drag puddy’s big a** to sit outside at Frank, or sometimes sit at the kitchen bar alone, reading Glamour and trying everything on the menu.

“And I would never ever miss a Thursday ... I’d sit there with my multiple double vodka sodas and get day drunk by myself (this is not a brag, lol, I was basically a functioning alcoholic) then buy hats I didn’t like or need at urban outfitters. I still can’t wear hats for some reason.

“Just reminiscing about New York a lot lately, when things were simple, thinking about all the stuff I’ve done and been through, not just this year but in my life. I’m slightly down lately. It kind of started when I was thinking of my book caption and typed out 'my third baby is here!', as in cookbook, then realised my third baby will never be here,” she shared with her 35.1-million followers. 

Teigen went on to say: “Then I realised I threw myself into the book to not think of the real, actual third baby. I don’t really feel like I fully processed Jack and now that I don’t have the alcohol to numb it away, things are just ... there, waiting to be acknowledged.”

She ended off the lengthy post with a reflection on how “complicated” life is.

Last October, Teigen revealed the heartbreaking loss of her third child Jack, who she miscarried 20 weeks into the pregnancy.

The Lip Sync Battle host opened up about her grieving journey in a lengthy essay posted on Medium and shared her grieving process on social media over the months.