You can be single and survive Valentine's Day

Image: 123rf/Ioulia Bolchakova

So you’re single on the day of love. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, it does mean you’re going to have to endure a tsunami of #relationshipgoals posts on your timeline from people who, just the other day, were fighting about questionable WhatsApp messages. Fear not because Valentine's Day for singles is not just survivable, it can be down right fun if you take the right steps.

First off you’re going to need to leave the office early. The fact that all your loved up colleagues will be prematurely clocking out to denude a hundred roses doesn’t mean you have to stick around and hold down the fort. Tell your boss you have a vague client meeting to attend and get out of there.

Onto phase two: supplies. Make your way to the nearest shopping centre and buy yourself your favourite drink and enough junk food to make your arteries quiver in suicidal anticipation. Once your larder is stocked, call some friends.

Make sure you call the ridiculous ones. The friends who make you laugh until you can’t breath. If they’re already in a relationship then head down the list until you find some who are but don’t go too far or you will eventually end up calling THAT ex.

Valentines Day is not the day for messy ex lover complications. Throw in a board game like 30 Seconds, Cards Against Humanity or even strip poker if you’re feeling adventurous and you’re ready to go.

When you get to work the next day, the combination of friends and frivolity will give your face the kind of self satisfied glow that will secretly infuriate the couples in your life. After all, their grand floral gestures are meant not just to showcase their love but to also implicitly make you feel trash about your lack of love.

If you end up having a great night then at least 50% of their plan is thwarted and the other 50% of it doesn’t apply to you so it doesn’t matter.

P.S If all that seems like far too much admin then get yourself some wine, switch your phone to incognito mode and enjoy a pleasant evening with Pornhub. They always have great Valentine's themed viewing.