OPINION | The culture of costly, lavish funerals must be ended

Colonialism and its ramifications continue to manifest in unimaginably disturbing ways in black communities. As Steve Biko, the father of black consciousness, said: “The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.”

One area where the black mindset has been severely negatively affected is the amount of money splashed out on our funerals. The amounts are appalling, considering that some families neglected their poverty-stricken members, only to spend lavishly on their funerals. A case in point is senior citizens who die mainly from neglect or abuse by their offspring and grandchildren, who then bury them in expensive caskets and then dish out buffets for the mourners.

There are more unnecessary costs in the days ahead of the funeral at the weekend, through catering to visitors arriving to pay their respects and for the memorial service. 

It’s possible to have three or more funerals in one village or township in a week. Attending all of them takes a huge toll on residents. However, it is still a culture that not attending may be interpreted as being unsupportive.

Covid-19 briefly taught us to conduct simpler funerals, but we have gone back to unnecessarily lavish and costly affairs.

Some well-known regulars at funerals attend purely to fill their stomachs. Many well-to-do families provide full meals, and anyone in the neighbourhood can come and eat until the day of the burial, and perhaps even afterwards. 

Some come to cook the meals and this is where you encounter nasty characters known for stealing food, especially the meat. These thieves are known in the neighbourhood, but how do you stop them?

On the day of the funeral, you find some men eating from a big dish of pap and a big bowl of meat. This gendered dining is said to eliminate the risk of poisoning, but some consider it to be a form of scavenging. Later, the post-burial parties known as "after-tears" promote prolonged drinking sprees.

At some funerals, mourners are pampered like royalty while sitting under fancy marquees tents, served costly snacks and beverages.

It’s common in some graveyards to see tombs built to resemble small houses, with sliding doors and roofed with expensive tiles.

The culture of costly funerals has taken hold in black communities. Many black people save for funeral schemes rather than for their children’s education. Some join funeral schemes on behalf of family members, and cash in when those relatives die and hardly disclose the insurance windfalls.

The sad reality is that our times of costly bereavement have turned into a lucrative, capitalist business. The big sums could be saved to pay for our children's education, to develop our communities, and for other  constructive purposes such as investing in a business.

We need to learn from the whites and Asians, who usually spend very little on funerals. We need to review our spend on burying our dead and invest more in uplifting our communities instead.

Let's take care of our people when they are still alive; this will eliminate the feelings of guilt that trigger exorbitant and wasteful expenditure during times of bereavement.

Nodoba is a lecturer in media studies at the University of Venda. She writes in her personal capacity