One bit of marriage advice that has become so annoying to couples in general, and women specifically, is that we must persevere to achieve a successful marriage. The advice has become somewhat of a saying at African weddings especially, and it goes something like: “Kuyabekezelwa emshadweni” (you persevere in marriage).

The advice is often directed to the bride more than the groom, and comes across as if women must persevere through – and almost endure – any painful behaviour the groom displays and she can’t leave...