Should it be the Wild Coast or Ballito Beach? Emmarentia Dam or Drakensberg mountain? Nah, let’s be super classy. Let’s go to Cape Town. Clifton Beach. The weather is terrible in Johannesburg as it is; and will be for the next few days, according to the weather forecast.

You see, I have been toyi-toying with an idea of how to make the most of President Cyril Ramaphosa’s announcement that not only has the alcohol ban been lifted, but public spaces have reopened as well. These tidings tie in well with my annual ritual...