Hlaudi Motsoeneng outlook for many(i) of the popcorn parties

Vera Columnist
ATM leader Hlaudi Motsoeneng.
ATM leader Hlaudi Motsoeneng.
Image: ESA ALEXANDER.

The purple shall not govern

The full results of Wednesday's general elections were still not available by the time of going to press, but Vera is able to tell you one thing for sure:

If you were expecting fresh air after this week, you will be disappointed.

Yes, the self-styled in-coming president of South Africa, Hlaudi Motsoeneng, may not even get a seat in parliament - not to mention a chance of wearing his purple suit at the Union Buildings.

Vera has some good advice for the "academic lecture (sic)", go get a proper job, abuti.

ATM bombed

Another party that went around telling all and sundry that it was about to run the republic was that outfit, said to be the brainchild of Ubaba oseNkandla, which goes by the acronym of a cash-dispensing machine.

From its most famous politician Mzwanele Manyi writing on Facebook the other day that he is busy preparing a list of new cabinet ministers for his would be president Vuyo Zungula, to its members calling themselves a government in waiting, the African Transformation Movement was convinced it could pickpocket votes all the way to power.

But voters can see an ATM scam from miles away and so they went nowhere near Zungula and Manyi.

Realising that things had not gone according to their plans, Zungula changed tact yesterday, telling a radio station that his party will "do very well" by getting a single seat in the new parliament.

That is like trying to withdraw a thousand bucks from an ATM and then boasting you are loaded just because a R10 note came out.

We wuz robbed - Manyi

Give it to Manyi though, he knows how to deflect attention from his failures.

When it became clear yesterday that his party would do badly, he quickly mobilised other Msholozi fan clubs, in the form of Motsoeneng's African Content Movement, the BLF and Irvin Jim's utopian socialism outfit, to reject the outcomes of the genral elections.

Instead of explaining why all those churches the ATM was banking on did not vote, Manyi promised to take the whole election process to the courts.

Given the track record of Baba's fans in the courts, Vera is not banking on an ATM win on this one.

Death of big part ambitions

There is a soccer coach who is said to have told a TV presenter that "soccer can kill you a real death".

Well, Vera does not know much about the sport, although she is tempted to believe the coach after witnessing a number of men nearly suffering heart attacks when a team from Liverpool beat another one from Barcelona in Spain the other night.

What Vera learnt in these polls though is that election results can humble even the most boastful of political parties.

Take the Red Berets for instance. In the run up to the elections, a day hardly went by without the EFF dominating headlines for one reason or another.

But as results trickled in yesterday with trends that suggest it may not grow as big as the party thought it would be in this election, Vera could hardly see any posts from her EFF social media friends.

How to stop the terror

Vera has also not heard from one Patrick Mosiuoa Lekota, the leader of the Congress of the Person - oops slip of the fingers there, dear reader - Congress of the People.

He has been uncharacteristically quiet, is the Struggle hero still coping?

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