Women should also spoil us on Valentine's, for a change

Image: 123RF

It is Valentine's Day on Thursday. I want to categorically state this: Valentine's Day isn't about wives, girlfriends and side chicks.

This day of love is also not about husbands, boyfriends and side n****s.

And before you berate me for mentioning the people who are part of extramarital affairs or those who people cheat on or with, please let's remember that this is an unfortunate part of our reality, no matter how wrong or unfortunate it is.

Sadly, we live in a world of side chicks and side n****s.

Over the years, around this time of the year, the social media streets are flooded with protests from boys and men about how girls and women like making this particular day about them, and them alone.

Even on Father's Day, we get bombarded with posts such as, "Happy Father's Day to my single mother who plays both roles of being a mother and father to me."

This is also a case on Valentine's Day - it is a historical day that love is supposed to be celebrated by two people, and if I come bearing chocolates and flowers as my opening gestures for the day to my lady, perhaps the lady should also have my favourite cologne or a bottle of my favourite whiskey.

However, it is the girlfriends, wives and side chicks who are spoilt with gifts, pampering at spas and so on and so forth.

As for us men, dololo!

This gives an impression that all boys and men would not appreciate getting something on this day - a haircut from the Legends Barbershop or manicure from Sorbet Man salon, sponsored by their significant others.

Perhaps we should go on a full strike should we not get something on Thursday. This is not a one-way street and should not be treated as such.

Maybe I am too liberal a guy, perhaps this may not be appreciated by all men, but I am certain that the metrosexual male would appreciate it.

Yes, we are deemed as providers, but we are also lovers. Let this Valentine's Day be about both sexes.

This is a day that presents two people who love each other with an opportunity to spoil each other.

You could even get your man a Fifa or his favourite soccer team's T-shirt, or a book by his favourite author. Or even better, buy him his favourite sneakers.

My plea is simple ladies, Valentine's Day is not just about you, it shouldn't be just about you.

If you have a man in your life, let this be another day to spoil him besides his birthday.

Also, as men, we should stop pretending like we are okay to not receive anything on this special day. As blacks, we have also made this day a part of our culture and a way of life, so let's embrace it fully.

I know that some men do not deserve to be spoilt. Sometimes we are not worth a gift. We put women through a lot. Maybe it shouldn't be compulsory for women to spoil us.

I guess I should also make it clear that the men who should be spoilt are few. One thing is certain, we won't get over being "trash" overnight. I am actually making a case for deserving men, who are few and far between.

Nevertheless, let us make sure that Valentine's Day is about both men and women. In that way, we will not have men going on strike on such a day, because they too know they will also be pampered with love.

Happy Valentine's Day in advance.

Chabalala is the founder of the Young Men Movement (YMM), an organisation that focuses on the reconstruction of the socialisation of boys to create a new cohort of men. E-mail: kabelo03chabalala@gmail.com; Twitter: @KabeloJay

Would you like to comment on this article or view other readers' comments? Register (it’s quick and free) or sign in now.

Speech Bubbles

Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.

X