Baba's nine years in office a total bliss... for chosen few
Dear Daddy, Baba ka Duduzane and the rest of the gang
I hope retirement is treating you well, although I see that you still battle with the concept - hence your many interviews, social media statements and video recordings ever since you left office.
Vera does not normally write letters, definitely not "open letters".
But she was moved to pen this one after reading your passionate missive directed to the Buffalo Soldier president who has been going around telling anyone who would listen how bad things were when you were the chief resident at MahlambaNdlopfu.
First things first, Vera apologises to you for referring to herself in the third person. It is a habit she has learned from the man she suspects would be getting your vote in the upcoming elections for the presidency. No, not Jimmy, or whatever name Manyi uses these days when in front of the ATM.
I mean your most favourite non-biological son, Hlaudi Motsoeneng. Come on, don't deny it, it is no longer a secret. Remember that in the good old days when Faith Muthambi was in charge of the miscommunication ministry, she stated to the late Hope Zinde that "Baba loves him, he loves him so much".
But Vera digresses. The point of this letter is to agree with your argument that your nine years in office were a bliss. Well, for some.
Buffalo Soldier and his talkative finance minister either do not know how to appreciate a good thing or are under pressure from Western imperialists to drag your name through the mud. Sithule nje siyabuka, but we are not surprised.
The imperialists did not want you because you were the closest thing SA has had to the revolutionary Che Guevara.
Unlike your predecessors who drank tea with the British Queen and allowed themselves to be called "our pointsman in Africa" by George W Bush, you stood up to them by choosing Vladimir Putin as your bosom friend.
There is, however, that small matter of your government having signed a UN resolution that killed Muammar Gaddafi and plunged Libya into chaos. But even great revolutionaries do make mistakes.
We will not speak about Marikana in which, on your watch as president, police mowed down 34 mineworkers whose only crime was to demand better wages. It was your government, you appointed an incompetent police commissioner, but, hey, you successfully shifted the blame to others.
Nine wasted years, what nine wasted years? Those who spread this lie, have they forgotten how successful BEE was under you? That only Duduzane, your nephew Khulubuse and the Gupta brothers became fabulously rich during your nine years cannot be blamed on you. It is because the Zumas and the Guptas simply showed initiative; they are natural-born entrepreneurs.
They say jobs were not created during your tenure. They must tell that to the lawyers who were swimming in money as you were dragged in and out of courts.
That Mzansi became the most unequal society in the world during your nine years in power is also the work of your enemies. Didn't you try to distribute the wealth by building a whole new city in Nkandla and didn't the enemies of progress block your plans? That Nkandla happened to be your home town was neither here nor there. After all the English do say charity begins at home.
You were not about to be like Madiba and the pipe-smoking one who went around fixing the country without building as much as palaces in Qunu and Idutywa.