The learning element of this journey isn't all together that hard, it's the unlearning that is problematic. Fighting for equality means working against everything about the patriarchal system.
Allow me to illustrate my point.
I went to a friend's house for a braai last week, where my boyfriend later came to drop off some things for me. As he was leaving, he came face to face with my friend's dog. I had no idea until that moment that he was scared of dogs; I had thought the opposite.
The dog let out a little bark which I would not have paid attention to had it not been for the scene that unfolded after. In a spilt second following that growl, my boyfriend jumped and tucked himself behind me so swiftly that he, and not the dog, gave me a fright.
At first I was a upset. Why would he want me to be in harm's way? Later, when we spoke about it, I had to confront myself and my reaction against my feminism. And this is where unlearning comes in, to unlearn that men are supposed to be stronger and fearless is a fallacy.
It is as much nonsense as to expect the man in a relationship to be taller, or to have more money, and placing the responsibility in the man's hands. If we are to be equal, we ought to complement each other, and be strong where the other is weak.
So while I can't gift my boyfriend a dog for our anniversary, I vow to protect him from dogs for as long as we are together.