Why divorce spells disaster for a cosy makhwapheni

14 August 2018 - 08:08
By mapula nkosi AND Mapula Nkosi
Divorce can be a problem for the mistress too the writer states.
Image: 123RF Divorce can be a problem for the mistress too the writer states.

"Where is Sam?" I asked her. I immediately witnessed her face changing and becoming guarded as she tried to respond to an unexpected question from me.

The two lovebirds had been inseparable in the last few years. She is a member of our social club and we all knew Sam because she had introduced him to club members in one of our year-end get-together celebrations.

After a long pause and just when I thought she was going to ignore my question, she responded in a soft voice.

"I have stopped seeing Sam. He is no longer a reliable bet for me since he got divorced," she said.

I had to crane my neck closer to her face in disbelief. I thought I had misheard her. Seeing the bamboozled look on my face, she quickly put me out of my misery with a long explanation.

For the first time since I knew them, I got to learn that Sam was married and had in the past year embarked in a process to divorce his wife.

In March, Sam was granted the divorce; he became single again, ready to date.

For years, and after I had witnessed how they liked spending time together, I had come to a conclusion that the pair were an official couple.

Whether it was taking trips to Durban or Thailand, shopping at a local grocery store or going out to watch a stage play or music concert, they were always holding hands, declaring their love for all to see.

She tells me of her heartbreak when her high school sweetheart sneaked out of the country to marry a girl from Lesotho he had met on campus. Since then she always had trust issues when it came to intimate relationships with men.

Hers with Sam, she says, was perfect. She was more than happy being the man's side chick.

She said she derived comfort in knowing Sam was with his wife when he was not with her. But, most importantly, he made her feel safe because he did not put pressure on her to commit. Sam also did not have many expectations that usually come with many intimate relationships.

So, according to her, going out with Sam was like being in a freelance job with all the perks of a permanent position but minus the heartache and responsibilities.

Of course I was quick to add my romantic notion by pointing out it is time they tell the world about their love. But no, my clubmate is having none of it.

According to her, Sam was soon going to cheat on her with another woman, the same way he did to his wife with her.

"USam uzongijolela [he will cheat on me too]; I don't want that. I had to let him go," she insisted.

She is certain that she made the right call by cutting ties with Sam, and is now back in the dating game again, looking for a relationship.

It is said there is no honour among thieves. Indeed those who cheat know the same fate awaits them.

Karma explains it clearly that life is a boomerang... what you give is what you get.