Fatigued old poyisa trying out Ndosi's not-so-new tricks

Vera Columnist
General Khehla Sitole
General Khehla Sitole

Izinja ze game?

You indeed can't teach an old dog new tricks. Worse still, you can't have an old dog teaching an old dog tricks ... any tricks old or new.

Remember when Ndosi was all that, sans his fedora hat, declaring to the nation's amusement that in his police force the mantra was "stomach in chest out"?

It made for some fun and the play general somewhat got on top of this crime thing and we felt a bit safer.

Now there is a new sheriff in town. Ndosi as minister of police is his boss, coming in with the heralded New Dawn of Silili's.

Still silly season

Vera has always cautioned that it seems to be tinged with a dose of the silly this Silili season, and proof came in the bucketful this week when Ndosi hauled out General Khehla Sitole to show off the new tricks he had been teaching him.

All bark, where's the bite?

The poor fellow came out garbed in military fatigues and declared that's how he was going to be attired until the criminals ruling the streets are "tired and retired".

Vera will give him that much for some pathetic rhyme but she will wait and see if the general attired in military fatigues mouthing tired old slogans is not fatigued himself because we all are but still far from being safe from the crime.

What bothers the moon ...

We wonder still whether the tsotsis will be shaking in their boots at the sight of these two, but Vera suspects not. Of course, we see that already with bandits making a mockery of law enforcement with their broad daily daylight heists.

Do the maths

The signs of his fatigue were there when he got himself all tied up in simple maths when he declared emsakazweni that only 5% of the 192000 officers were rotten cops. The host pointed out that that worked out to about 8 or 9000 of bad police officers. Now that's a lot of baddies in uniform by any standard.

As that was pointed out ikhehla tried to wiggle out and said he had actually said less than 5%of the cops are bad. It all sounded like a dog chasing its tail ... round in circles.

Dear Ndosi, will you please haul him back to the classroom; there are a few tricks still to teach the poor fella ... 1+1 is ...?

School ground bully

Still on the question of the classroom, what a surprise move seeing Msholozi turning to his intellectual equals - Cosas - in a bid to rescue his sunken political career.

Typically, the once-upon-a-time Namba Wan saw nothing wrong being part of a gathering of school children during school hours.

After making threats to his enemies - Vera can add 1+1 to deduce that the imagined enemies are none other than Blade and the courts - then came the predictable belting of Mshini Wam. Can't he at least just move with the times ... that's an old soundtrack. Haai, old dogs!

My, didn't he also look tired and defeated this Baba kaDuduzane?

Take Vera's advice baba: enjoy the Nkandla fresh air while you can, before the courts order an orange overall for you. You need to give MaKhumalo a chance to make up for lost time, and don't you also have a nubile new makoti to go home to?

Giving credit where it's due

Vera feels for you, dear Blade with all the meandos from ubaba. That's why she is with you on this blacklisting thing. What darkie worth their salt can claim to have gone through life untouched by credit bureaus?

So we shall thank Cupcake for saving you all the trouble that ubaba caused you with his reshuffles that kicked you out of the million-rand limo straight to the kerb.

Who will ever forget the image of your alleged communist arse cutting a forlorn figure on some bench somewhere in Jozi allegedly waiting a turn at the CCMA?