Madi would like to start off the week with a big public service announcement.

She may or may not be taking an indefinite trip to Mauritius soon, and her plane may or may not crash on the way.

But fear not. Madi's long-lost cousin is set to ascend the celebrity police throne in Madi's absence.

Be warned: her cousin, whose name shall be revealed soon, is a master of the guillotine and of spreading gossip like rapid wildfire.

Keep your eyes peeled.

On a sad note, Madi's close friend, Thobani Mseleni, was laid to rest at the weekend in his hometown of Bofolo in the Eastern Cape.

Madi was too emotionally vulnerable to attend, but she did manage to make her way to his memorial service on Wednesday.

The tributes that most entertainment folk paid to him were absolutely beautiful, and Madi has no doubt that he was smiling down on the proceedings. Something that crawled up Madi's nose at the memorial service was Zahara.

Why on earth did she shamelessly waltz in hours late? Madi literally bumped into her at the exit, and she was wearing some rags that looked like Maria le Maria was back in business.

Then Madi bumped into some sloppy article where Zahara was yapping on about her family having loved Thobani so much. Madi couldn't help but regurgitate.

Firstly, who cares?

And secondly, Madi thought your tardiness was revolting Zahara. It was a great young man's memorial, for crying in a bucket. Whatever important thing you were doing could have been put on hold.

Claps once!

Let's move along.

Madi made her way to Moloko in Pretoria at the weekend, where Aaron Moloisi was celebrating his birthday.

Madi could tell you a lot about this not-so-young man, but she is not in the mood for a lawsuit.

Let's save it for her tell-all book that she will release after her retirement.

And Aaron, please celebrate your birthday at a more dignified place next time.