Maditaba does not care if she receives tons of hate mail for what she's about to say, but her jaw dropped to the floor recently when she heard someone say that it was Nhlanhla Nciza's birthday last week, and that she was turning 40!

Forty? Really?

Madi seriously needs to start moisturising, because she honestly would have thought Nciza was older. There's just something about her demeanour that registers her as an aunt who would be the go-to person for the recipe for a mean traditional wedding brew.

Madi thought that Nciza went to school with Mercy Phakela.

Yoh, girl, please inject some youthfulness into your personality, pronto. Befriend Sophie Ndaba, she's a fossil but has an endearing youthfulness about her.

In other news, Madi was so apprehensive about going to the Major League Gardens in Nasrec, Joburg, over the weekend.

Mainly because some snooty publicist had once told Madi she was not welcome as they are selective about the media they invite.

There have been reports of absolute chaos; from a stampede to a lack of security. So was the media supposed to lie and equate the event to Bonang Matheba's birthday party?

Lerato Kganyago blew Madi away. Not with her acrylic nails deejaying, but her outfit and makeup were flawless!

Madi hopes the jacket you wore was faux fur, and that some poor animal was not brutally killed for your enjoyment.

Dear Nadia Nakai. You are not Nicki Minaj. Your American accent is pathetic.

Another solicitation: get Black Coffee a stylist? The student-in-a-cafeteria-queue look you sport is getting old.